Brainstorm?

Interesting stuff

2009-01-16T05:42:00.004+03:00

1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpXj5tgt9uk&feature=related

2)
Interesting chap - David Ford.
On the interesting radio Lastfm.ru

3)
Funny chap - http://www.taylormali.com/
Search for his outstanding performances on youtube

4) And for children:

http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/l054.html

http://www.longlongtimeago.com/

http://crazybone.com/

"Status" on facebook

2009-01-16T04:48:00.007+03:00

I am a great procrastinator..
A long, long time ago I wanted to write that it's amazing that users can change their "status" on such social sites as facebook.com and vkontakte.ru. A "status" is a short sentence about what you are doing or how you are feeling.
What I like so much about it is that you have to define your main activity, emotion, problem briefly. And this strains, at least, my small brain. It makes you analyze a lot of actions you've recently done, thoughts you've had and ideas you've conjured up in your head.
Apparently, it's much easier to move further in life when you know where you stand at.
However, I've seen a great number of vague "statuses" posted by friends and even myself. But I find it also amazing as it shows the inner spiritual development of a person. Sometimes we are not clear about what and why we do/feel/think. But in the end we usually come to an understanding of it.
Here is one of the latest "status" updates of Anna Nikolaeva which I admired:
"Anna is wondering whether it is possible to miss future in a way we miss the past. then I miss it. a lot."

And yes... talking about procrastination, see the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXziurFkQxM

Fantastic video, isn't it? So... what am I still doing here ??? !!! ;)

Non-chalant

2009-01-05T03:38:00.008+03:00

I entered the room. Sat on the chair. Looked at the table surface. Saw a tiny paper which said: "Mature minds were young once, and young minds will mature". It is from the Fortune Cookie, which Monique Gruter presented the whole class at the last Business Communication lecture.

I am so non-chalant... these days. I left for Amsterdam with a "calm" heart. I miss home, though. And the thought that "Maybe I am happy" sounds violent.. O.o

Have I ever been happy?

When you are so laid-back but your mind still conjures up vivid stuff... it seems it has always been the same. With a slow pace and lots of fake/or not happiness.

Non-chalant, dames et messieurs.

Nice one. Grow a brain.

2008-12-20T03:54:00.002+03:00

http://growabrain.typepad.com/growabrain/

Leisure management... LM..... is...

2008-12-20T03:07:00.013+03:00

is a lot of chocolate...
Dense as a toffee, gentle and fresh. Sweet. With a set of fillings - ginger, orange, mint, strawberry, vanilla.
A pie with an apple, croissant with chocolate or cherry. Huge Finnish Chocolate Muffin...
Pearl-coloured-7 cm-heeled shoes.
And jazz, jazz. Creamy jazz. Cafe's. "Cosiness"/ Gezelligheid.
Maybe that's why I've chosen LM..Lm..lm...

http://www.lifeinthefastlane.ca/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/chocolate_addiction_4sfw.jpg

Voices`

2008-12-20T03:01:00.002+03:00

Hablar de mi mucho. adem'as sabrosamente, esta vez ser'a poco posible porque acabo de entrar en casa despu'es de un largo viaje en coche fuera de Mosc'u. S'olo te quiero agradecer tu atenci'on expresada electronicamente. Lo curioso es que tengo vsiado europeo y hasta podr'ia verte, pero no voy, no quiero ir lejos de casa, he viajado mucho,Madrid, Barcelona, Par'is, Roma, San Petersburgo, Praga, ..... demasiado, aunque Holanda me es af'in, *blizca* por el esp'iritu, por su aquitectura y la gente un poco reservada, no abierta tanto como aqu'i en Rusia, o en España. Mira, querida Li Senat, has dejado una huella, parece imborrable, en m,i con tu forma de ser, eres distinta de otras chicas y original, con tu propio punto de vista del mundo que nos rodea, ...Me parece que el don (dar( de improvisar evidencia de tu personalidad cambiante cada instante, no existes como una planta bonita, como una flor arom´tica, sino vibras o hacer vibrar las cuerdas que en el ser humano son los nervios, envías impulsos matemáticamente complicados , provocas la inspiración para crear. Ya sabes que me encanta improvisar en instrumentos musicales, y si no fuera lingüista de profesión, sería un musico de jazz por excelencia.Me has recordado Holanda, Amsterdam y todos los pasos que dí allí. Etuve allí un mes. Me gustaba vagabundear (brodiazhnichat( a lo largo de los canales, dar vueltas por las tiendas de arte antiguo, respirar el aire que llegaba desde el Atlántico y soñar que un día alguien me escribiera desde allí. Yo tengo amigos allí, pero no me carteo con ellos, no me es interesante. Eres la única persona con quien qusiera compartir mis pensamientos filosóficos y sentimientos músicales._?_En qu'e ciudad vives?_? _Dónde está tu campus?A pesar de lo ruidoso que son los hispanohablantes, no te encierres, aprovecha la posibiliad de practicar con ellos el idioma. Espero un mensaje tuyo en espa;ol, besos y mucho cari;o para ti, fantastica Li!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8.11.2008

Песня

2008-12-20T02:48:00.004+03:00

Ожила и бегу
В неизвестную даль.
Без тебя я смогу -
Пусть всё боль и печаль!
Ты ушёл, не сказав,
Что ушёл навсегда.
А я просто жила
Свою жизнь для тебя.

Ты ушёл, не спросив,
Если выживу я.
Ты ушёл.. ты ушёл.. ты ушёл..
Без меня.

Isabeau Senateur
3 October, 08
4:26

A peachy-store song by Chris Hay

2008-11-20T02:39:00.002+03:00

Do I dare to love you
I wonder this myself
Like a tempting sweet in a superstore
Do I take you from the shelf?

What does it say on the packet?
I'll read if for you here
Then i'll tell you what i'll do
I think that's only fair:

'treat me with cheer
this craziness is juicy
eat me only if you're ready
to be totally peachy'

So do i dare to love you
I think we know the answer
I'm gonna take you to the check-out
and live happily ever after.
x

Voices`

2008-10-27T07:10:00.002+03:00

Hello, Елизавета!!! Как жизнь на чужбине? Ты наверное удивишься, но у меня есть для тебя новость: я устроился на работу в один хор, и мы в декабре едем на гастроли куда бы ты думала??? ))) Короче, ищи афиши концертов камерного хора "Киев" примерно с 12 по 25 декабря, и напиши в каком городе ты обитаешь. Жду. )))))))))))))))))
26 окт 2008 в 23:36

Querida Isabel. Comienzo a olvidar tu cara, y eso es ....natural. Pero jamas te recuerdo porque nunca te olvido. I miss you, pero qu'e le vamos a hgacer si la vida es as'i. La vida es impredecible *niepredskazuyema* A ver si nos vemos casualmente todav'ia en esta vida/ Yo lo quiesiera. Adem'as tengo amigos e Holanda, Amsterdam en primer lugar. ?Y t'u? ?Qu'e tal tu vida + Extrañas a nosotros, a tus amigos, a Rusia, a Moscú, en particular_ Lamento que no hayamos tenido tiempo de colaborar musicalmente.
Besos. EL REY de Tauria
21 окт 2008 в 0:56

Дорогая Лиза. Идя навстречу пожеланиям... \Вообщем, пишу по-русски. Поездка в Испанию, Францию и моя личная в \Рим в августе удалась. Были, конечно, и некоторые напряги , скорее личного плана, но это ерунда. Для всех все, что для меня уже 15 лет подряд, для них было полной неожиданностью и незабываемым сюрпризом. Жаль, что ты не оказалась среди нас.

Знаешь, мне нравится везде. Я жил в разных городах, в том числе и в Амстердаме целый месяц. До сих пор восторг не прошел Знаю, ты нигде не пропадешь, потому что ты личность, к тому ж е красивая девушка. Счастья у тебя юудет много. Так я предчувствую.
Мы только вчера начали учиться. Испанский очень востребован. Пришлось брать еще одного человека. Я тебе еще напишу, колгда все устаканится. А пока - пока. Целую и благодарю , что не забываешь. Твой чуть-чуть учитель, но больше друг, Виктор
18 сен 2008 в 22:23

2008-10-22T05:30:00.001+04:00

Your Brain is 80% Female, 20% Male

Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatgenderisyourbrainquiz/">What Gender Is Your Brain?

٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶

2008-10-17T00:22:00.000+04:00

٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶

Ерунда.

2008-10-03T04:48:00.000+04:00

Ерунда.

оЖИВУ.

2008-10-03T04:36:00.002+04:00

Слова прочь.
Я - это я. Я была ты.
Но был ты без меня.

Isabeau Senateur
4:30 = 2:30 oCTOBER 3O

Soundflavor Video Jukebox

2008-10-02T21:36:00.003+04:00

F/e, Tiny Dancer by Elton John.

L....................

2008-09-07T04:52:00.001+04:00

1st day.

2008-09-07T04:51:00.001+04:00

Люблю...давай...

2008-09-07T04:41:00.003+04:00

Kiasma - art wonder

2008-08-30T00:21:00.007+04:00

While being in Helsinki (Finland) I visited “Kiasma” museum of contemporary arts. This is the first museum I have ever seen which tried not to educate its visitors but conjure up creative, funny, serious and simply interesting thoughts in their minds. It makes its visitors cry and smile when adjoining the piece of art, but not just watch, as it is mainly in Russia. “Kiasma” is also the museum which is active in the field of innovative marketing, fundraising, corporate cooperation. It tries to establish not just stable relationships with its corporate and other partners, but very special and reliable. Every person can become a friend of “Kiasma”, that lets this museum enlarge the group of its weak and tight ties.

My friend Julia Broido and I saw a written feedback on “Kiasma” from a Russian man: “Hi. I am from St. Petersburg. One day we will also have Kiasma”. On what Julia who works in the field of culture replied with sarcasm: “It is not quite possible”. There is still no place for “Kiasma” in Russia.

"I don't quite get it" exhibition:

Marianne Uutinen. Finland. Toy. (I personally see the Angel :>)

Ahmet Ogut. Turkey. School memory.

Ahmet Ogut. Turkey. One scarf act.

"Post it" (3M) - sponsor.

I know..

2008-08-30T00:18:00.001+04:00

I know where I come from.

Eh, Todorov.

2008-07-19T03:40:00.003+04:00

Can you believe, Vlad, we were among the 1st generations of teenagers who were the inet addicts?
Same, Kiki, same...
----------------------

The mood is moody.

2008-07-18T03:01:00.003+04:00

Dear Malin,

Thanks for your reply.I saw your profile updates during the whole year and comments like "Today I am doing this and that in Darwin" have always made me envy you! ;)I believe Sweden is a great place for your future life and doznt matter what you will be up to, u will always succeed. Let me say I am sure in it.

But are you happy with your life, Malin? These days I am trying to find the answer if I am happy with mine. Many friends say that I should be happy because I am loved by so many people. However, I haven't reached anything significant yet: I am not a good singer, not a good manager, or just still noone at all: I am a student with her small projects which can not make any impact on the world. And maybe in future I will become someone greater than I am: open my business, sing in a band, organize a cool festival... But now I feel a little down in the dumps. This August I am in Helsinki for Art Management programme. Than go to study in Holland.

Love,

Lizvet

.AN APPLE.

2008-07-18T02:37:00.007+04:00

Apple of discord. Buddism - symbol of tolerance. No more words. Think yourself :>

By Elizaveta Senatorova

~***~

2008-07-18T02:00:00.006+04:00

...

Разбита кружка -

Палец ранен

Но всё без боли и без слёз

Тот, кто на веки опечален,

Всю влагу отдал - не вернёшь

Хотел бежать, хотел кружиться -

Но не сумел я превозмочь

То, что обязан измениться

И боль потери скинуть прочь

Хотел любить, но был я ранен

Задолго до минут святых

Я стал седым...

Седой южанин в потёмках дум своих глухих..

Isabeau Senateur. 27 May 2008. 02:59

______________________________________

Спасибо тебе...

Спасибо тебе за то, что ты мой,

Спасибо тебе за то,

Что не разрушив меня изнутри

Ты изменил всё, всё!

Спасибо за то, что я тоже твоя

Спасибо, мой нежный друг,

За мелкую каплю большого тепла

От губ и касаний рук

За то, что ворвался вот так: не спросив

За то, что, когда я уйду,

Запомнишь меня, мой любимый без зла;

И лишь горечь в глазах я найду

За то, что ты боль свою плотно прикрыв,

Оставишь мой образ живым

На вечер, на месяц и на всю жизнь -

Вечно он будет таким

Я тоже, верь мне, тебя сохраню

В мыслях и сердце своём

Взявшись за руки мы вечно бредём

По`-морю вдвоём

Плачь, иль не плачь -

Всего лишь вода омоет нам лица дождём

Мы улыбнёмся слегка,

А потом росто тихо уйдём.

Isabeau Senateur. 16 June 2008. 03:05:49

Voices`

2008-07-17T23:33:00.007+04:00

"I know i didn't tell you, but maybe now i can tell you that while we were in[...]i dreamt one night that we were married...i fell in love with you since the night we were at the party in[...]flat...do you remember?, the first monday...when we were joking about monkeys and that...you took me when you told me that you like my smile...and that night i felt that you were an exepcional person...and what can i say about the night when we kissed...your kisses were the best ones i have ever had...i already told you that..."

"The mail with the angel part...i just want to hug you at this moment...a big hug you know, maybe for hours...i love you..."

"...dreaming that maybe one day u can be mine...mine 100%...but, i know that if we think 100% realistic, the posibility of that goes low...i don't like how it sounds, but that's real...you did'n hurt me at all...

I would not like to give u my heart...because u already have it.

And about the description u gave me about ur ideal man...it doesn't fit with me very much hahahaha...I just love people who love me...i'm very "simple" and i can love any person as long as that person loves me and is nice to me...but, of course, i like to choose. You didn't ruin anything... I love u...n' miss u so much.

ur A...L"

"Te quiero...and, actually, Te amo[...]!...n' miss u very much!"

"So...u look beautiful...as my strawberries...
Now it's been 1 year after the last time i were with u...1 year more is nothing...you wont feel the time...u will see..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~

2008-07-16T00:37:00.014+04:00

Lullabies of the world

Russian

Jewish

Swedish

Ukrainian

French

Indian

African

Greek

Moldavian

Japanese

Turkish (One of my most favourite)

Spanish (I sincerely wonder how Spanish children can fall asleep)

Chukchi (The tot on the polar bear is a masterpiece)

Canadian

Bulgarian

Azerbaidjanian

Armenian

German

Director: Liza Skvortsova
Песни исполняютРусская – Арина Фридлянская Чукотская – ансамбль «Ваегские девушки» Немецкая – Marlene Dietrich Японская – Михаси Мития Еврейская – Ефим Чорный Венгерская - Marta Sebestyen Молдавская – Мария Илицу Азербайджанская – Шовкет Алекперова Украинская – Нина Матвиенко Французская – Nathalie Boyer Африканская – Ladusmith Black Mambazo Канадская – Georges Hamel Грузинская – Kartuli Hmebi Испанская – Anna de los Reyes Шведская – Alice Babs Турецкая – Mircan Kaya Армянская – Hasmik Harutyunyan Болгарская – Народная песня Греческая - A Costas A . Glannicos Productions Индийская - Суман Кальянпуркар.
http://lull.ru

PS: I know that also Hungarian and Georgian exist, but they are not available.

Midsommar... Pitch sad.

2008-06-23T01:13:00.002+04:00

http://lizvet.glogster.com/glog/

Angry.

2008-05-07T22:40:00.010+04:00

Dear Sir/Madam!
I am writing to complain about Facebook.com letting itself advertise "Videos and photos of children under 18" in Russian with Porn context (http://www.porka69.ru/). I hope, this will be solved very soon because it is immorale and illegal according to new international laws. I also hope any mail could be available to make complaints and offer ideas for the Facebook service development.
I look forward to hearing from you about the measures you are going to take.
Yours faithfully,
Elizaveta Senatorova

Hi Elizaveta,
Thank you for reporting this ad. We do not allow ads such as the one you described to run on Facebook. Could you please provide a screen shot of this ad, including the page you see it on, if you see it again? In addition, if you can click on the ad and retrieve the URL that the ad links to, that would be extremely helpful. All of this information will hopefully help us locate and remove the ad as soon as possible.
In order to get a screen shot, please complete the following steps:
...
We hope to resolve this problem as soon as possible.
Thanks for contacting Facebook,
Jack
Customer Operations
Facebook

Dear Jack!
... But at the moment I saw that porno ad I decided also to take its screen photo (enclosed). Unfortunately, it's of a very bad quality, so I'm not sure it can help.
...
I hope still some measures will be taken to persuade people to complain about illegal ads as well as Facebook control the process better itself.
Yours sincerely,
Elizaveta Senatorova

Hi Elizaveta,
Thank you very much for following up on this. We are investigating and removing these ads. We appreciate your help in maintaining the quality of our network.
Thanks,
Jack
Customer Operations
Facebook

Senatorova is...

2008-05-06T00:43:00.004+04:00

buying new leather gloves for 25$ in a corner shop because she forgot hers at home, using them effectively for the period of time needed, noticing that gloves colour slightly hands in black, returning to the shop with complaints, colouring her face black with the gloves to prove, completely in silence listening to the screams of the shop assistent the gloves look as if used for 1 month for 5 minutes... Getting back her 25$ and leaving the weird shop for home where her good old gloves are waiting for her.
5 May, 08

Paskha. Пасха. Easter.

2008-04-28T00:26:00.002+04:00

Глава Запись в дневнике Л. 27 апреля.
Я, наверное, ничего не боюсь, кроме одиночества и потери близких людей, что есть одно и то же. Хотя как часто мы сами провоцируем отторжение любви к родным, друзьям и особенно тем, кого мы называем «любимыми», нашим «любовникам по жизни». Порой мы все прячемся в некоем коконе… Не выходим за рамки своего «Я», своих проблем, не желаем трудиться для построения любви, семьи, любых тёплых чувств. И я такое же нелепое, слепое, незрелое существо в коконе. Но порой приоткрываю глаза, открываю сердце и становлюсь наконец-то бегущей по ветру бабочкой, свободной и красивой от внутреннего тепла, что рождается во мне. И тогда я с изумлением открываю, что существует какое-то дополнительное пространство в мире, принадлежащее только мне и моим любимым. Особенно… тому, кого я люблю по-другому, нежели родных и друзей, кого я люблю страстно и тихо, безумно (так как буду потом любить своих и его детей) и разумно, порой ненавидя (ведь и такое бывает); но люблю… И готова кричать, надрывая хрупкие связки, о том, как сильно и безгранично я люблю.
Но в какой-то момент ветер становится сильнее бабочки и сдувает её с курса… и она, с потёртой пыльцой, со сломанными усиками, начинает падать вниз от бессилия, медленно как пёрышко, и плакать. Такая ранимая, хоть не знала до этого, что и её можно обидеть.
Тоже и я… Такая же бабочка… Со своим ветром и другими обстоятельствами.
В ледяную пасхальную ночь с субботы на воскресение я собралась на службу в ближайший храм. Давно хотела исповедаться, так как чувствую в этом огромную внутреннюю потребность. Но, стоя на службе, я не почувствовала ни Божьей Благодати, ни душевного спокойствия, которое всегда дарит церковь. Когда я прихожу в храм, суета остаётся снаружи, а я плыву в мыслях к самой заветной из них. К Молитве. Ибо она лекарство, которое действительно исцеляет, а также помогает понять, что и кто для нас важнее всего.
И всё же, вернусь к тому, что произошло пасхальной ночью. Никогда я не видела столько людей в церкви, желающих исповедаться. Постепенно наполняясь, храм всё больше походил на вагон метро, который ещё чуть-чуть и чихнёт миллиардами пылинок, сотнями прихожан.
Заняв место в конце длинной очереди на исповедь, я собралась терпеливо ждать. Однако вскоре увлеклась изучением новых типов людей, с которыми знакомила меня жизнь. Позади меня стояли две женщины: одна совсем молодая, а вторая, казалось, была вне возраста. Она относилась к таким людям, кто явно уже пожил, но возраста не имел, так как бойкость, самоуверенность и отчасти нахальство этих людей затмевают все предположения о возрасте. Слушая её рассуждения о Боге, религии, а позже различных знакомых и бытовых мелочах, мне представлялся один грубоватый голос, человек без плоти, – зачем она нужна, если есть голос, постоянно высказывающий бесконечные мысли хозяйки. Женщина помоложе внимательно слушала, не перебивая ни разу, и жадно впитывала её слова, отчасти верные и справедливые, но словно сказанные без души.
Впереди же меня стоял мужчина лет пятидесяти, который сделал жёсткое замечание женщине, собиравшей с пола масло от лампады, которое разлила не она, а кто-то задолго до неё, и зажегшей лампаду, - видимо, была причина. К мужчине скоро присоединились и две бабки. Именно бабки, не женщины. Они продолжали ворчать с видом единственных постигших Бога и все тонкости церковного уклада и жизни людей, осуждая женщину, собиравшую масло: «Восемь лет такого не было, и быть не могло, и только теперь масло разлилось, и лампаду зажгли!» Однако Женщина, на которую в святом месте разом упало столько низкой людской брани, не долго оправдывалась. Просто тихо доделала своё дело и ушла под ритмичный стук эха грешной речи об стены Храма.
Перед мужчиной стояла молодая женщина. Красивая в своём спокойствии, невозмутимости, Вере, рассудительности, простоте и каком-то неказистом изяществе. Она достойно вела себя в церкви: читала молитвенник, не ругалась… И осталась для меня неким прекрасным ангелом. И думаю, мы могли бы хорошо подружиться, если бы встретились где-то в мирской жизни.
До девушки, впереди по очереди, стоял невысокого роста юноша, со слегка кучерявыми волосами цвета шоколада. Он слегка напомнил мне моего арабского друга, однако же читал не Коран, а православную литературу, возможно, Евангелие, возможно, молитвы перед причастием, и был внешне похож на еврея. Его лик был светел, он серьёзно молился.. И мне казалось, что этот человек был мне очень близок.
На этом юноше я остановила свой кочующий взгляд ещё минут на двадцать, восхищаясь его усердием, выдумывая, что это за человек, и что могло его, такого молодого и необычного, привести в церковь на пасхальную службу.
Но вскоре с левой стороны, что-то тёмное перекрыло видимость, и высокий молодой человек прошёл мимо и встал где-то недалеко позади меня в очереди. Я заметила, что он был всего немного старше меня; уставший, с синевой под глазами. Он был одет в черный пиджак из мягкой и плотной ткани, какой носят в престижных загородных пансионатах английские мальчики – школьники. С левой стороны на пиджаке была даже изображена какая-то небольшая эмблема, какой-то герб… Но, в общем, это был самый обыкновенный человек большого города: я могла чётко представить себе его в автобусе, в маршрутке, в метро, работающим в какой-нибудь небольшой коммерческой организации. «Наверное, он считается хорошим сотрудником, ему доверяют…», - думала я.
Вскоре моё внимание снова полностью переключилось на людей впереди очереди, и я забыла про пришедшего юношу.
Через час никто практически не сдвинулся с места, и некоторые прихожане покидали очередь, так что молодой человек в черном пиджаке подвинулся совсем близко ко мне, и нас разделяло от силы три человека. Бытовые, мелкие разговоры и сплетни набирали размах, и моя поясница окостенела настолько, что незаметно, под пальто, я старалась делать хоть какую-то гимнастику. Меня охватила некая тягучая апатия, которая, казалось, никогда не закончится. И всё же всё моё равнодушие к разговорам, и последние старания посвятить мысли Богу исчезли, когда, очнувшись от недолгого сна, я почувствовала на себе чей-то глубокий взгляд. Я стояла в том месте, где очередь совершала поворот направо, и когда я повернулась полубоком к тем, кто стоял сзади меня, моё лицо стало открыто для того самого юноши с уставшим видом, в чёрном пиджаке. И воспользовавшись моментом, он, верно, от изнуренности, а может, из любопытства, смотрел как-то глубоко в меня. Заметив это, я оглянулась, и он быстро отвернул взгляд. И, возможно, поняв, что я заметила, как он смотрел, слегка смутился и смялся.
Все оставшиеся два часа до начала службы я чувствовала спиной, как перебегает его взгляд по храму, от икон к прихожанам, как часто он останавливается на несколько секунд на моём затылке, на шёлковом розовом платке с кривыми итальянскими клоунами…
А когда началась служба, и вся очередь превратилась в густой пёстрый воск, где нельзя было разобрать лиц. Когда всю очередь раскидало толканием новых пришедших на службу, высокий юноша позвал меня, предложив встать перед ним: «Вы же впереди меня стояли, а вот как Вы подвинулись», - сказал он, дотронувшись до моего плеча. Ещё через минуту я случайно и небольно наступила на его острый кожаный ботинок, черный как и пиджак, прошептала «Извините» и получила радушную улыбку в ответ.
Что было дальше стыдно описать. Толпа смяла нас настолько, что Он стоял сзади меня, прижавшись настолько плотно, что его тяжёлые выдохи щекотали мои волосы, заставляя кончики губ подниматься. Я старалась поймать все выдохи, вдыхая в себя воздух вокруг. Каждый из них казался сладким как какой-то парфюмный концетрат, перенасыщенный феромоном.
Меня бросало в жар, и в холод, кружило голову так, как никогда не кружило в жизни. Я чувствовала, что улетаю из церкви, из разумного, из рационального и логического, что не смотря на то, что уже давно не чувствую ни ног, ни спины от усталости, бегу, лечу бабочкой в своих фантазиях. Я осознанно была готова отдать Ему всю себя, подарить лучшее во мне, стать для Него многим.
Я знала, что интересна ему: я всегда улавливаю лёгкое волнение, исходящее от мужчин. Он не трепетал и не сходил с ума, но, когда я поворачивала голову в профиль, чтобы он мог рассмотреть меня, - рассматривал. И когда пели «Христос воскресе из мертвых» и другие молитвы, пел нарочисто громко, словно хотел, чтобы я обратила внимание на его голос. И я обратила внимание на его звучный, даже звонкий, бас. Я никогда не слышала столь низких голосов у людей, не занимающихся пением. Его будто шаткий, неуверенный голос выдавал его, но глубина голоса завораживала, также как и сила его. Несколько раз я оборачивалась, смотря прямо в его тёмные глаза, немного закрытые, уставшие. И он без стеснения отвечал моим взглядам.
В середине службы вновь началась исповедь, и он наклонился ко мне. Выше на полторы головы, он наклонился ко мне, положил обе руки на мои плечи, словно приобняв меня, и слегка развернул к себе. «Священник подошёл, исповедь продолжается… там», - и показал головой вперёд. В этот момент с первых рядов нам дошла весть, что исповедовать будут только тех, кто готовился, читая специальные книги… Он пробасил: «Ты готовилась? ». «Что? – мгновенно подумала я. – Почему Ты? Как хорошо, что он снимает эти официальные рамки». Я уже начала мотать головой в знак того, что не готовилась, а он начал задавать вопрос, как вдруг кто-то спереди резко повернулся ко мне и громко спросил: «Кого Вы обманываете? ». Это была женщина – голос, которая сумела ворваться бурей в мой мир, без нужды, бессмысленно и неоправданно. Но она ничего не разрушила. Скомкав слова, я тихо переспросила Его вопрос. И Он также не обратил на неё внимания: «Вы в первый раз будете причащаться? ». «Нет, конечно», - быстро проглотила я и хотела что-то добавить. Но Он не дал мне продолжить: «Может быть, попросите у Батюшки благословления… Или ещё как-то ». Я видела, что он был слегка взволнован, даже озадачен, будто боялся разрушить наш порядок в очереди, возможно, хотел идти позади меня. Одновременно, я успела заметить, что Он опять перешёл на Вы.
Я была рада принять его заботу и просто хотела причаститься, давно хотела. Но неведомая сила сковала меня и не дала принять Его совет. Наверное, оттого, что на исповедь я пришла с неотвеченными вопросами, терзающими меня.
Я выдержала паузу и произнесла, уже постепенно уступая дорогу тем, кто пойдёт на исповедь: «Спасибо. Всё хорошо. Не волнуйтесь за меня… ». Вот и всё.
Как-то потом я искала в толпе его чёрную головушку, его чёрные-чёрные волосы, отражающие свет горящих восковых свечей. Он обернулся именно в мою сторону и поймал мой взгляд. И тогда Я смутилась, а не Он. А после причастия Он встал недалеко от выхода. И мне, надоевшей стоять на сквозняке, захотелось к Нему подойти. Но я сделала лишь два неловких шага влево. Он видел меня.. А потом прошёл мимо, с такой сжатой тугой улыбкой, с какой проходят лишь мимо людей, которым очень хочется что-то сказать, но что-то мешает. Может быть, я это придумала.
Я не посмотрела ему в след, чтобы Он не заподозрил меня в излишнем любопытстве, и не знала, если он совсем ушёл. Но больше на службе я его не встретила, хотя нарочно ушла последней. У церковной ограды я встретила юношу с шоколадными волосами, и хотя мне всё ещё хотелось с ним познакомиться, мои мысли были заняты другим человеком.
Что было причиной, что он так и не подошёл, не дождался, не решился проводить меня до дому? И как обидно было бы знать, что это просто испуг, либо истинное равнодушие, а не какая-то оправданная причина. Хотя… было бы лучше вообще что-либо знать, а не чувствовать ту боль, которую чувствую я. Я, кажется, влюбилась в миг, и в миг потеряла любимого. Пусто… Горько… А главное, - больно. Очень больно.
Я совершенно невлюбчивый человек. Ведь в мире так мало широкоплечих блондинов с красивыми руками и улыбкой. Но всегда случаются казусы. В прошлом году, я решила в первый раз последовать совету матери и побороться за того, кто приглянулся. Опоздав на последний автобус, я присоединилась к группе подобных мне людей, ловивших машину. И перед тем как, захлопнув дверь Жигули, выйти из него у дома, всучила малюсенький клочок бумаги со своим именем и телефоном мужчине… с чёрными, как дёготь, волосами, высокому, спокойному, добродушному, с низким голосом. Ах, как смешно подумать, что этот мужчина и был в церкви. Однако прошёл год, и его образ совсем стёрся из моей памяти.
Два дня я думала, что при звонке, спрошу, не учился ли он в моей школе, а телефон дала, потому что стеснялась спросить при других людях. А через неделю я уже перестала вовсе вспоминать об этом: никто не позвонил. Может, в темноте я лишь процарапала маленькие цифры своего телефонного номера, а может молодой человек сам не захотел звонить… Было немного больно, но боль прошла. Так и эта новая, вновь черноволосая боль пройдёт. И исчезнет навсегда. Но всё-таки мне кажется, что я ещё очень долго буду искать чёрную головушку в толпе невысоких людей с волосами любых цветов, но ни как у Него…
В какой-то книге я прочитала слова серьёзно больных людей: «Всё будет так, как должно быть, даже если будет иначе». Ничто не случайно. И даже то, что маленькие чудеса происходят в самые неподходящие моменты. Высшие силы шлют нам события и препятствия, а мы преодолеваем их, прося у них терпения для решения наших проблем и дел, даже тех, что мы не в силе решить и изменить. И всё же мы становимся сильнее и лучше с каждым новым поворотом жизни. Я уверена, чтобы что-то получить, нужно что-то потерять, либо оставить. Ведь, не став лучше и сильней, потеряв или оставив что-то, мы не оценим новые препятствия и никогда не дойдём до полного осознания значения важнейшего, великого раздела жизненной философии - Любви.

A fantastic teacher. A good singer. Again in Moscow.

2008-04-09T04:09:00.004+04:00

The last poem of winter.

2008-03-02T00:26:00.001+03:00

Что старость мне -

заслуга за отвагу иль бренный путь во тьме?

Я не мечтаю о спокойствии, -

Живу я в суете...

Молюсь, как прежде,

Бьюсь главой в армаду книг и знаний:

Борюсь с привычкой вековой - безделием.

И день деньской кружу я в вальсе мыслей.

И, вроде, стар, но млад.

И, вроде, мёртв - гляжу я в зазеркалье.

А, вроде, - жив - ловлю я вдох осенний...

И наполняю грудь сполна прохладным упоением...

..............................................

Нет, не хочу я становиться старше,

Чем есть мне лет!

Хоть будет мне казаться слаще

Сей жизни бред.

Страданья дум мне и сейчас знакомы,

Душе страдать уж смысла нет...

И кожа просто обезвожит мой образ многих лет -

И сделает мудрей.

Я не старик -

а лишь в сморщиневшейся оболочке долгих дней.

Isabeau Senateur

1st March!

2008-03-02T00:23:00.000+03:00

My Grandpa's Birthday!
And just unbelievable Spring has come!!!

Well....

2008-03-01T23:06:00.000+03:00

Well...

If you shut up drunk Russians, maybe you hear Chris Walz, a great bluesman from Chicago.

But 1st shut Russian people up :) Mu-ha-ha!..

Post № 101.

2008-02-25T05:58:00.000+03:00

IT'S TIME FOR SPRING IN OUR HEARTS.

Kosovars... Post № 100.

2008-02-25T04:17:00.001+03:00

These days many people ask me what I think about the problem of Kosovo. I hope my American friend Cookie won't get offended if I paste our correspondence in this blog.

19 февраля 2008 г. 20:31:24

Hi Peach, An independent Kosovo. Your thoughts.

Cookie

20 февраля 2008 г. 0:04:16

Kosovo will start a new cold war between the USA and Russia. The USA doesn't know Abhazian and Osetian problems - never faced that hell, Cultural point of view - Kosovo is a cultural centre of Serbia - heritage. It is the same as now St. Petersbourg would become a part of Finland, for example. The other point: It is a dangerous precedent, it splits up the whole world into 2 parts, international diplomatic laws are ruined. But what really counts for me is a cultural matter. For some reason I find it painful for me. Imagine yourself New England as part of Canada, huh?

Peach

20 февраля 2008 г. 0:14:02

And finally some feelings to poor Serbian people who live on their native lands and who are badly treated by Albanians. *Deleted, otherwise you will understand my words wrong.......................................................

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I know we should be tolerant. But I am not a broad-minded person and I would avoid meeting muslims, even in Europe or anywhere else. Not because I am a damn racist. Different mentalities can be dangerous. I sincerely love my arab friend Salim, but different mentalities - is a great obstacle to talk and understand each other and be heard.

Peach

20 февраля 2008 г. 3:20:01

Thank you very much for your thoughts. You put into a very good perspective.

20 февраля 2008 г. 4:20:38
I do not know why you need to know. Nonetheless, my Mom said a very clever thing - wars, independence and etc are organized for several people to make big money at once. She said it when Tchetchnya, when Iraq and now she says it again. And I tend to believe she is the only one who told the truth.

Peach

Now I only want to add the words of one famous Russian journalist that if Turkey and the USA believe Kosovo is super special [Condalisa Rice: "Now we live not in the 13th century!" - Lizvet]and differs so much from Abhazia or Basque Country and they support its independence, why wouldn't they proclaim territories of Curbs (between Turkey and Iraq) independent?

And I beg everyone! Please. No comments. That is just my point of view and I am so tired of the debates. Thank you.(Eventually,this is not a political blog and I am not Max De Santi :) ).

PS: I have just thought. No, muslims and christians will never be able to live together. The last weeks pogroms in Denmark? It's very hard for Asian to adapt to European's life, but Europe needs labour and it leads an opened policy: if you are clever and want to study, or poor/unhealthy and need help - you are welcome.

In a family muslim husband, chriastian wife (or vice versa) one finally (a very high percentage) takes the other religion - or divorce.

Conversely, Russia - with Buddism, Paganism, Islam and Christianity. And my beloved friend Salim. Very much loved, but always misunderstood to some extent. Very..very much loved. What if love saves the world? :)

One of the new habbits.

2008-02-25T01:05:00.001+03:00

Living alone, or "alone with a dog" is like a life style. And the one who tries this drug, especially if this person lived all previous years within a big and even loud family, soon becomes an addict of his new habbits, unfamiliar ever before.

One of my "newly-gained" habbits which gives me a fantastic feeling of "being intelligent and sweet", I'd say my favourite habbit, is buying in the nearest supermarket* several magazines and "Skittles" weekly/once in two weeks.

Those are Business magazines and my favourite magazine "The Russian reporter", which criticizes the Russian reality roughly and which is the only truth-telling Russian magazine I read in my life.

Living alone turned into more reading, more thinking&analyzing than ever, especially about family values, phoning - to family and grandparents mostly...

Living alone changed my attitude to my grandparents on 180 degrees: I call more, I ask more, I listen more. Still not perfect, though.

Let me tell you something I have never-never told to anyone in all the details.

Once there lived a girl. A little dare devil, a leader and very ambitious. She loved her parents very much, but didn't like when they beated her. And they beated her for getting bad marks at school and no wish to study. One evening the girl wanted to ask her Dad something, but he seemed to be already sleeping. So the girl came up to Dad and called him. The Dad had a very bad day and being sleepy pushed the girl painfully. Years have passed. And once late in the night the girl saw her Dog lying in a red liquid, what looked as if the dog had vomited. The girl wanted to call her Dad but he was sleeping. The Dog looked at the girl with very sad wet eyes. The Dog was crying.

It smelled awfully and the girl hid under the blanket. Woke up to open windows, counted minutes and finally fell asleep.

In the morning, as soon as the girl opened the eyes, Dad entered the room and said: "The Dog died. Doctors said we lost some hours.". He said it in the way he used to say the porridge was ready. But this tone was just to hide his pain.

The next 4 years the girl always jumped over the place where the dying Dog was lying and woke up in tears.

3 years later the girl was still a dare devil, still a leader and very ambitious. She became a very diligent student and spent hours preparing her homework for school. Her Great Grandma lived with her family, but the girl did everything to avoid seeing her Great Grandma as she smelled badly, was old and boring. But once Great Grandma died, just a day before the girl's Dad Birthday. He told about this to the girl in the car on their way home. The girl felt a bit uncomfortable with this fact and one little tear fell down from her right eye.

She didn't feel any sorrow. Nothing she felt.

In two years time, the girl woke up in the night crying. It was hard to breathe. The girl started praying. The girl prayed for God and her dead Great Grandma to forgive her. She prayed: Jesus, Granny forgive me. I was so stupid. Granny, I know why you died. The whole life I begged God for you to live 100 years. I believed you would live as long as Your Great Grandma who lived 115 years. I believed in you. But when I became a diligent student, the studying euphoria and success made me blind. God, please, let my Granny live peacefully in heaven. God, please, let my Granny live peacefully in heaven and please ask her to forgive me I have never told her I love her, never spoke to her more than 10 minutes.

I know this girl. And she told me once how she prays: " Dear God, please, give health to every person in the world, especially who needs it. God, please, give every bird, fish, snake and all animals in the world health, especially which needs it. God, please, let all living creatures live happily, have food and water. If those are people, God, please, give people the money, because they can buy food and water having the money. God, please, give health to my grandparents, my parents, my siblings and other relatives. Please, give health to my friends and fellows. Please, give health to all dear people of my dear people. Please, give health to all people I know and do not know, to all people I love and do not love: just because I am not acquainted with them. God, please, let everything in the sky, on Earth and under it live peacefully. And please, God, I ask you for preventing people's deaths from things they created themselves: cars, machinery and planes. And please, God forgive me for my sins. And forgive me for my fear not to find the way to prolong my Great Granny's and Dog's lives."

...Tonight I also purchased a film "The cider house rules", which won two Oscars in 2000. I hope it's worth 5$ I payed :)... I have recenly watched "Lions for lambs" and it is an extremely thought-provoking, wise film.

...Living alone has some drawbacks, you know?.. Like my Dog Naja behaved strangely when I came back home at 00:30. Later this witty animal runed towards the door and back, and again. And I patiently put on my new waterproof boots and we went out... Tail up, tongue out, she did everything needed and disappeared. I slowly went to the children's playground, where she was exploring the variety of smells. 1:00 is not the best time to go out, but it's the best time to listen to the silence of the suburbs and then run with your dog until you can not breath and finally fall down in the wet snow and catch tiny snow flakes with your lashes, then look at the new bootprints on the snow and smile to them. Noone sees you, but at such moments You see deeply. Hard to define which occasions are an advantage. Hard to indicate which occasions are a disadvantage. But maybe right is the proverb which states that everything what is done is for better.

....

Well, I have new boots and that's amazing. It's a benefit, because they will keep my feet warm. But my previous boots are now sad. That's a drawback. In my previous boots I fell in love and visited museums and went to the conservatory. They had kept my feet warm before I bought the new boots. But if I wear my old boots, my feet will get cold. And that's a disadvantage. So I will put my old friends in a wardrobe and will keep them for ages. I love saving things. They are all memory. Yes, I fell in love wearing my old boots...

....

I didn't plan to write anything today, except I like my new habbit. While writing I cried two litres of tears. Sometimes I ask myself why I started this blog.. It's extremely painful to write sacramental thoughts here. I am like a voodoo doll, jabbing needles into myself. This is cons. But this is also pros, especially if it gives YOU any idea why I live and makes you think why you live, my dear friends.

Lizvet

*24/7, 1 minute from my house.

14 Feb. St. Valentine's Day.

2008-02-14T23:09:00.000+03:00

Granny Valentina (Mom's Mom :) ) returned from the hospital. Right in time :-)

The way to know Russia. Part1: Conventional.

2008-02-13T18:32:00.000+03:00

From The Moscow Times (themoscowtimes.com)

In addition: Moscow authorities prohobited Gay Parade in 2007, 2006, 2005 and so on...

To see the text click on the pictures!

KVARTFEST "THE NOTE MUG"!

2007-12-30T20:13:00.000+03:00

To understand your friend without a word.

I am happy to say that the 3rd Kvartfest (flatfest) "The Note Mug" ( or the new version is "The Note Pizza :P ) started and finished successfully yesterday!
The theme was "Peace. Friendship. Chewing Gum". The accent was made on Friendship, of course.
We lead bustling lives and very often forget our dearest, our friends. To Unite people "The Note Mug" was created, however, the 1st and 2nd Kvartfest's topics were "The Russian archipelago" and "The crystal of traditions", where cultural questions were arisen. This winter it was decided to discuss something what is closer to our everyday reality and could be 100% helpful.
Being absolutely tired now, I will only write some facts and conclude.
0) Kvartfest was held together with Lizvet's birthday.
1) 90% of the invited people were 1-2 hours late.
2) From 22 who claimed they would come 15 came. The majority were f. ( only 3 m.), because 5 guys couldn't have come + two girls.
3) The programme

Lizvet greeted everyone and read a story of a famous Russian bard Bulat Okudjava "A little mouse". It describes a month when the author tries to red rid of mice in his countryside house: puts traps in every corner etc. But this year there are not plenty of mice, suprisingly only one little mouse, which comes to watch TV with the author every evening. Soon he gets used to the little mouse and even starts to love it, until one day the author finds his little mouse killed in a trap...

The discussion followed.

Lisa Vinovarova took the floor to tell the guests a hilarious story about her friend. Friendship for Lisa is a feeling which once turns into love. When she was studying in Germany, she got to know a crazy Russian girl with a really weird sense of humour... Like early in the morning that girl hears a bird singing and yells: SHUT UP, BIRD! .......... Well, that was a long story which illustrated how it can be difficult sometimes to adapt to odd people but finally you fall in love with that oddy and overcome life problems together ever after.

Nina and Serejia added a few words about friendship between women and men :) and this was just in time, because the 1st planned performance was prepared by Kirill and Lizvet "WHY?".

L: My dear, why are not you talking to me
My dear, why are not you talking to me
WHY, WHY, WHY are not you talk to me????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY, WHY, WHY are not you talking to me?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K: I am not talking to you, because I admire looking at you
I am not talking to you, because I admire looking at you
WHAT, WHAT! Admire looking at you!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT, WHAT! Admire looking at you!!!!!!!!!!!!
L: You promised to go for a walk with me
You promised to go for a walk with me
So WHY, WHY don't you invite me?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY, WHY don't you invite me???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K: I would go for a walk with you, but you are not at home
I would go for a walk with you, but you are not at home
WHY, WHY are not you at home???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY, WHY are not you at home???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!
L: You promised, but never kiss me
You promised, but never kiss me
WHY, WHY never you kiss me?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY, WHY never you kiss me????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K: I would kiss you, but you are quite tall
I would kiss you, but you are quite tall
WHY, WHY are you so tall???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY, WHY just like a turnpike???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
L+K: We sang for you, but you didn't applause to us
We sang for you, but you didn't applause to us
WHY, WHY, WHY didn't you applause to us??????!!!!!!
WHY, WHY, WHY didn't you applause to us??????!!!!!!

5 ) Afterwards, Marina Startchenkova represented her "friendly" paintings =)

1) Chain saw "Drujba"/ Cheese "Drujba"/ Village "Drujba"/ Pipeline "Drujba"

2)What is friendship for you?

6) Then Lizvet's little cousin Marina Kholina read the poem she wrote herself "The Dwarf and the Giant ". The Dwarf was building his house when he became ill. But his friend Makar - the giant helped him to get well and finish the works.

7) Irina Bondar': Friendship, just like love, doesn't have the past tense. Because, unfortunately, I meet Liz not so often, but everytime we meet it is not felt a lot of time has passed..

7,5) Love prepared a box with small cards and candies. Everyone had to take one card with a quotation in it and a candy. I took a candy in a golden cover as it suited my dress =) And in my card - LaroshFuko: " The one who has never done anything crazy is not as wise as he thinks!". I am not sure if Love is the Oracul, but everyone was amazed that the quatations were "right for him/her"! Everyone saved their cards.

8) Lizvet sang a Buelorussian folk song "Komarik" (the mosquito).

9) Lizvet and Serejia. The song about love to music :)

10) Serejia [I bet this song was devoted to Nina ;) ]

11) Vyatcheslav Nikolaevitch - Lizvet's neighbour, teacher and good friend.

Vyatcheslav Nikolaevitch - Two girls, one 12, the other - 14.

12- you are so old! Noone will want to make friends like you!

Actually,.. my granny was extremely energetic the whole life.. She has never been old, even at 90. So she [Lizvet] is not old. She doesn't look like a granny :)

Encore! The Russian folk song about a flea... yes, Lizvet and insects forever :)

12)...

13)... Seeing Alla off...
14)..

15)..

When two guests have already left... the rest of people enjoyed playing the traditional Kvartfest's game "The paper" :P . The most pleasant moment for me was when I forgot about this game at all, but people who were at the 1st or 2nd Kvartfest said it's a shame of me I didn't organize "The paper" =) What means they have good memories from all the previous "Mugs"... I am completely happy!!!

To play "The paper" (it must be called somehow else... but for us it's just the paper :P ), people sitting in a circle write: Who - then pass to the neighbour, then the neighbour writes: With who - then passes to the neighbour.... Finally, the story is written and it's time for a mad laughter :)

The possible questions are - who, with who, where, when, what were doing, in what were dressed, what for were doing that, what he said, what she said, how ended, in 20 years... ).

16).. Frankly speaking, I was extremely shocked when it was 23:30 and people started talking about leaving.. Not because it was time to say bye, but because it was 23:30! Not earlier! Not 21:00! Not 20:00! (No buses after 00.00). I haven't seen some guests for ages and we didn't have much to talk about, but they enjoyed [ENJOYED] the time we spent together, they enjoyed the evening... Nothing was better than realizing they were enthralled by what was happening around and....ah, I am just so glad!!!

Krolik (Rabbit), Volk (Woolf), Matroskin, Love, Triesta (all nicknames :)) ) - all stayed for a night (+ Kirill and Lizvet). They found whiskey, wine in my bar :P and were very suprised! Of course, Senatorova always offers juices and tea :))) And sang nice songs the whole night :))))

And in the morning Krolik said: I missed chatting, singing good songs in a good company so much! However, I didn't join them... I was relaxing in my room enjoying the silence... until I went to eat sushi :))

......................................

I have a good friend Dima who studies in St Petersbourg. We meet 2 times a year.

I have a good friend Dima who studies in Moscow. We meet 2 times a year.

I have a fantastic friend Love who studies with me and who I see practically every day. And whose friendship I sometimes underestimate.

Please, Think.

If you are neither Love nor Lizvet do not click, please!

2007-12-13T03:04:00.000+03:00

Wie & Si' =) forever together!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=X63UmoHBT24
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RPsZihunJz8

тук-тук-тук-тук-тук-тук

2007-12-09T01:31:00.000+03:00

A.R.E.A.

2007-12-04T22:04:00.000+03:00

***
Alone you die, my Frozen Angel..
Without Love - no Aim to live
Again I cut my soul with pain
Like human feet will tear a leaf

I run from truth - but I am followed
When I come back to you - I hurt
And then I yell and anger - swallowed
And silent crying's only heard..

Isabeau Senateur
4 December, 2:13:29

Maximilien Desanti. Death, tradition and industry.

2007-11-27T23:11:00.000+03:00

I find this painting great!

HE

2007-11-23T08:31:00.000+03:00

-Long legs, dark (or fair?) hair, large, heavy-lidded green eyes, a mouth that seems to wear a permanent slight sneer and kind smile simultaneously, and a husky but sweet voice..
You can come from the Unknownland, but will You? What shall I do to deserve You?
-Be Yourself.

13.11.07.

2007-11-14T01:22:00.000+03:00

SNOW SNOW REAL REAL SNOW!!!

Sunflower seeds. Grocery deficiency.

2007-11-10T02:12:00.000+03:00

-Sorry, do you have Ritter sport?
-Yes, we do.
-Do you have Ritter sport with sunflower seeds?
-No, we do not.
-Do you know where I can buy Ritter sport with sunflower seeds?
-Now it's 11.30 pm.. But you can try in thaaat shop.
-Thanks!

-Sorry, do you have Ritter sport?
-Yes, 40 roubles.
-Do you have Ritter sport with sunflower seeds?
-No, we do not.
-Thanks!

-Sorry, do you have Ritter sport with sunflower seeds?
-No..
-Thanks!

-Sorry, do you have Ritter sport?
-No, we do.
-Thanks!

-Sorry, do you have Ritter sport?
-No, we don't..
-Thanks!

Actually, nothing was sold in that shop... Only tomato Mexican tortillas. This country follows me everywhere. And its spicy cuisine.

We have grocery deficiency like 25 years ago. Though, I am not sure tortillas were sold in soviet shops.

Stay with me...

2007-11-03T02:12:00.000+03:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wyco2Uva7hI

Adrian and Aleksandr

2007-11-03T02:08:00.001+03:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgsO2fsar0I

Who's the winner? (just about my day)

2007-10-20T00:21:00.001+04:00

STRANGE day!

Slept 4 hours as Love was my guest and we chatted the whoooole night!

Overslept, of course!

This day we had the Business game (Live case) on the Uni's campus which is a short drive from Moscow, but takes about 2 hours from my house with all the traffic jams, and stress caused by public transport.

We were so much in a hurry!!!

That we were the first to appear at the games :/ STUKU!!!

Two who are always late were the first to come! Crazy, isn't it?

So that was around 10:45...

................................................

We had to be prepared for the game. Actually, a very cool, really cool organization cooperates with my Uni already the 2nd year. They arrange this game to make students create the ceremony "Director 2006/7" (held December 14th) - design, conception, prize, meeting guests, scenario.... whatever!

We get experience, they - ideas and helpers.. :/

Anyway, this year we had to be prepared in advance... And, no matter, I didn't find time to acquaint myself with the task.

So did Love :) Yes... we are alike sometimes.... :/ ??? ..... ALWAYS!

So when people gathered... we joined a team......... which also wasn't ready! And that was fantastic, as I would definetely get bored from doing nothing the whole day... if well-prepared team.

So we had no time for preparation, actually :) But I was lucky to draw the 5th number out of the envelope... and while other teams were speaking in public, we had not more than 40 minutes to

make our presentation!

amn... As I have just said, it was me who took the 5th number from the envelope... (And we called our team: Lucky ones! (in English) ).

Yes... hm.. why me..

not Love... or the others..

Because I took my seat in a room.... relaxed...... and thought: Wow! Now I can have a nap... They will work and I will help them... yes, maybe I will help them a bit... (before the game I was very sceptical about it.. for some sensible reasons, e.g. we have different tasks for the same event, so what for to have different design, scenario and so on been made with opposite conceptions...).

The first thing was to choose the leader of a team.

So while I was thinking: Wow! Now I can have a nap...

The majority voted for me to be the representative... apparently, the one who is the most responsible...

L: WHY ME!!!!

All: YOU, you!

L: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

All: oh, yeeeeeeeeeeees :D

L: WHY ME!!!!!!!!!??????????????

:/ ok....

To say I was in frustration is to say nothing... On the other hand, it was pleasant to realize people see a potential leader in you... and also after Sweden I started under-estimating myself seriously. Sounds weird, because I do not know the right word in English, but I hope you see what I mean. So overall, I agreed on becoming a leader as I wanted to try myself in the role I have practically forgotten.

And my risk was worth it! I managed to coordinate the work of "Lucky ones" so we got prepared just in 40 minutes! Our task was design!! I have no idea what design is, just a little... We had no time to brainstorm! So I thought giving concrete tasks to girls ( only one 1-course guy in the team who vanished into thin air in one hour :> ) would be the most effective way. I was trying hard to involve everyone in the process! And it was quite sucessful, except that guy... who wasn't interested at all... and one girl... who was sleeping on the desk next to me.. :)

As the presentations were over we were given time to consult some experts of the game... and we continued our work!

Now it was extremely hard to engage the 1st course in the discussion! And many of them spent the rest of the time smoking, eating, sleeping, or chatting.. I didn't have to do my best to attract them, because, though, it's a team-work, we are considered as individuals who form a team, first of all... how to explain... - if you don't participate in a team-work the team won't be "fined", but you personally will be "punished". But I was trying to persuade them to take part in the process... successfully sometimes :) However, soon it was clear not more than 4 people were needed to finish the work.

The next step was the final presentation and noone in my team wanted to speak! Everyone said they do not know how to keep people's attention on the presentation and other blabla...

That was a slap in the face... but I took it as Lizvet =))

Later Love offered her help, fortunately ))

.........................................................................

We both were trembling with fear...... argh!... But word by word and did it!

A loooooooooooooooooot of questions!!! AND......... papapapa....!!

The director of that cool-cool organization appreciated our idea to invite 4 pantomime actors ( 1 white and 3 blue ( in blue clothes, but faces - white) - like 4 humans from their logo ), who would silently show people the way to a buffet, hall and so on.. Much better than arrows in guides!..

He also liked the idea to set a huge logo from flowers on a stage...

And I was swelling with pride, I guess :))

Many more of the experts criticized our idea with pantomime and flowers.. And members of "Lucky ones" too often agreed about everything with them! I continued and continued to state pantomime was great, though not my idea at all... and eventually, I got some support )

.....................................................................

Oh, yes, we had no video been prepared (only depicted the idea of the video: stood on the stage like four pantomime actors in different poses with different emotions on the face. We had pantomime at Uni last year, so that was easy!) Without the video we couldn't win... We got about 43 points, as I was told later - I had to leave at 7 p.m. And I am not sure... but it seems to me we were the winners from the end :)

Anyway, I believe, we were "80 from 100", what is already excellent! Everything decorated with a good taste, nothing "too much".

The hall we had to decorate (I was there 99 times at concerts!): Mode`rn style (end 19-beginning 20 cent.), warm colours...

Our decision was to install an enormous screen on the stage, which could translate videos, and also - the main- regulate the colour. Bright colours could appear on the screen and bring the holiday atmosphere, instead of banal decorations ( like baloons :P ).

It all can make no sense to you, because you do not know our exact task and how the concert hall, buffet hall etc look like... So I am writing this all just as a hint for myself... To remember some ideas.

.................................................................................

Amn..........yah........................................................

:D Will never forget when in Sweden said: Ilya is the brain of our team.....

I am not that much brain!..

Or something similar to that... Doesn't matter, but my words made everyone burst in laughing!

Today as the half of our presentation had passed and I was happy nothing stuku had happened... WHEN...

The dean interrupted me: Xmas songs like - The little furtree feels cold in winter? That's a children Russian New Year song. And she nearly sang this phrase to tease me.

So I took the microphone and continued singing: From the forest you and me brought the fur tree home...

People got crazy and started applausing in the Bravo-Bravo way to make the situation even more fun..

I replied that western Xmas songs could match the event...

She asked me to give an example...

I said: Well.... Jingle Bells....

Dean: Jingle Bells? What's so special?

Me: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, do not know.... this song excites!..

In Russian (same as in English) the word "to excite" has two meanings, one of which is very closely connected with sex. I meant that it's just so jolly that cheers people up - the 1st meaning, but, of course, it was understood as the 2nd meaning.. And - only if could you see it - everyone couldn't stop laughing for about 2 minutes! Even, the CEO of the very cool organization, and the dean, and all people were applausing....

So stuku of me! But now I know - as soon as I fall in love... I will test Jingle Bells... nevermind.

..............................................................................................................

It was an extremely stressful day for me. Each of my nerves was a string, which caused a lot of pain.

I was trying to be tolerant to everyone, and was afraid I could offend people... the atmosphere was so tense! Offend not being rude, or inattentive, but saying the time is limited - do this NOW! Or asking to calm down, or stop the panic, or butting in the dialogues, or saying something is a bad idea! I asked what Love thought after we left the Business game: and she praised me with the words it was good enough not to hurt people and only once there was a misunderstanding between one girl and me, but we managed to solve the problem without conflicts.

I, actually, want to thank everyone for this Business game, which returned me confidence, and just was very professionally organized,but specially my team, who were brilliant by all means!! Thank you!!!

.....................................................................................................................................................

And I am happy, you know? I am...

Because our project was well-done...
Because I have leadership skills... (No, do not think it's my great discovery =) Just so-called Swedish inferiority complex... my own termin and for me only).
........... And finally, because now I am gonna sleep.. YEAH! It's already morning and writing the post took about 4 hours.

But it was a special day and I wanted to write each thought it provoked.

PS: if you read this post before I'll improve mistakes tomorrow, already today, please, know not much time is left till I improve mistakes tomorrow, already today... )

PS2: one expert of the game... a man in his 40s-50s.. stylish and aristocratic a bit.Love came up to me and said: You liked him! I didn't have any conversation with him.. nothing... But she just felt I liked him. And that was more than truth ) He was charming! I find parallel with the evening in Goteborg, when Salim and I asked one man in his 40s-50s the route. And then Salim said: I think you liked him! And he was really so tasty, that man.. Aristocratic a bit and stylish... :/ Special fluids?

I am shocked that it happens the second time to me when dear people know better than me that I like a person. Love said: You became "warm" when you saw him, that's how I understood, a slight smile was on your face.. But I am sure no smile was on my face, I was too busy to smile.

And,of course, hands... those two men have beautiful hands...R.has beautiful hands, A., S., and many other my friends. And they all have a wonderful smile.

Nice smile and gentle hands - and you win my heart! Ah, yes, you also have to over 50! But better all 99! @_@

What am I?

2007-10-17T03:22:00.000+04:00

Today I "photoshoped" myself at the design lesson..

Lulluby of birdland...Or Good Bye, Strawberry fairy-tale.

2007-10-17T01:30:00.000+04:00

You broke my heart and I thank you for this. Someday he'll come along

The man I love
And he'll be big and strong
The man I love
And when he comes my way
I'll do my best to make him stay

He'll look at me and smile
I'll understand
And in a little while
He'll take my hand
And though it seems absurd
I know we both won't say a word

Maybe I shall meet himSunday,
maybe Monday, maybe not
Still I'm sure to meet him one day
Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day

He'll build a little home
Just meant for two
From which I'd never roam
Who would, would you?
And so all else above
I'm waiting for the man I love

Maybe I shall meet him Sunday,
maybe Monday, maybe not
Still I'm sure to meet him one day
Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day

He'll build a little home
Just meant for two
From which I'd never roam
Who would, would you?
And so all else above
I'm waiting for the man I love!..

Ira Gershvin

*Once I saw the amazing performance of this song in the old American film.. but I can't remember its name, actors or anything... All Ella's improvisations are too "cheerful", too Ella's, actually.. ) All other singers make a sappy story from this song... I heard even men singing it... Nothing, nothing like that performance! The woman, and this song is a truely womens' song (not only because words were writen by the woman), sitting on the piano with a kerchief in her hands...looking at the man she really loves, but who she can't belong to.. And her eyes are full of tears... and her voice's incredibly strong, no whisper... or Ella's intonations... Something unique and fragile... fragile feeling.

Tell me why little angels don't cry..

2007-10-14T00:18:00.000+04:00

Winter has come

2007-10-14T00:14:00.000+04:00

The autumn leaf

2007-10-14T00:11:00.000+04:00

+

2007-10-13T22:15:00.000+04:00

Saw that very fruity train in metro several days ago (read the 1st June post)!
Was sitting in front of Andrijaka's painting which depicts Moscow in winter.. Spectacular!

13.10.07

2007-10-13T22:02:00.000+04:00

Krolik, you grow up, I love you. Good luck in everything to you!

One of the best shots I've ever seen.

2007-10-11T23:53:00.000+04:00

Next to Lenin's mausoleum on Red Square.

3.10.07.

2007-10-03T20:31:00.000+04:00

Day of Nostalgia for Sweden.

Effectual reasoning... - found this article and now using for Management Live Case (about Robin Hood :) ).

Also reading a book "Saga about IKEA" bought in IKEA (weird if not) for one buck. For one buck. One buck. One.

The sweetest wind..

2007-09-30T00:25:00.000+04:00

***

If I could support you now with my hug and with my kiss,
If I could support you now with my love and with my "miss",
If I could be little closer, If I could be where you are...
All I can do now - whisper:
"Darling, why are you so far?"...

Sweetest wind tousles my hair,
Sweetest wind tousles my heart..
I do not know what it will be,
But I dream it will be love...

I do not know what it will be...
But I hope this is love...

When you are close - sing me love songs,
But when far away - don't cry...
Angel and sweet wind - in one hand,
and in other hand - Good bye.

Isabeau Senateur. 29 September, 00:29.

13.09.07

2007-09-13T21:35:00.000+04:00

Every person has an Angel.

2007-08-30T01:42:00.002+04:00

I love you more.

Photography: pros and cons.

2007-08-30T01:42:00.001+04:00

Not ready yet.

So close, no matter how far.

2007-08-30T01:06:00.000+04:00

Last Saturday... August 25th... I was walking with my dog Najya in the field nearby my house... The warm wind was touching my cheeks tenderly... it was a really warm weather, I'd even say hot, for 11 - 12 p.m.

I was whispering a lulluby... Actually, the most important song ever. The most beautiful song. The song which every person needs, especially a child. Lulluby is definetely my favourite song! I think so because I noticed when I am down in the dumps I sing lullubies to myself, when I am in a peaceful mood I sing lullubies, when I am face to face with children I am eager to sing them lullubies...

This time I was singing a lulluby I created myself. The melody was twisting in my head the whole previous week..

Lulluby is not something difficult to compose :) Especially when you are a woman. I bet many women experienced kind of an improvisation on a famous Russian lulluby about a grey little wolf who steals tots if they lie on the bed edge. "BAu-bAushki-baU, ne lojIs'a nA kraU"... Follow the stress in this phrase: it makes a circular hooked movement/ intonation. If you speak Russian, than you also know that these words are diminutive, very sweet. Lullubies are usully sung on 1 - 5 notes, quite repetetive words and melodies... A lot of prolonging Uuus and Aaas...

This all reminds me the words of my teacher, a famous Russian jazz critic Mikhail Metropolskiy that you will never find any correct diffinition for Swing. Overall, it's a movement of soul, the mood created by the special rythm ( triols or in easier words - step, step, triple step ).
So does a lulluby. It's a special soul state put into music which harmonizes the inner work of a person's organizm, calms it down and positively affects on the mood, thoughts and health ( power of words ) and prevents nightmares, of course :)

What's more, lullubies make a strong connection between a mother and a child. A mother gives her mood through a song to a child, gives her worries and smiles. And most important, an idea or a thought! Like " You have to sleep". You must have noticed, people often repeat " You have do this, you have to do this" to a child for him/her to take this information finally. In a lulluby you can endlessly repeat verses and it won't loose its attractive form.

My Mother believes children chooses parents themselves long before they are born. In this case, I had a big doubt beeing in my early teens =) However, I have always loved this version because it smells with something romantic.

And it's strange, so-so strange to write it now.. But I think my child ( hope, my first one :) ) chose me August 25th... I tried to explain this feeling to Love... But she just smiled understanding me as "girl-to-girl" and said something like: Don't try to explain, you will never manage, but it exists. It's just a feeling you will never be able to put into words. But keep it in your heart!". And I will. There has always been a connection which can't be explained between a mother and a child. With my lulluby I called the baby's soul to me and it gave me a reply, because only this summer I became mature enough to be responsible for someone. Little girls play with dolls imagining they are mothers. But ask them what are their principles of the upbringing - they won't be able to answer. Not only because of some life experience, but reading books too, I think I found my personal way. And it will differ significantly from how my Mom brought me up. That's not what I would like to discuss today, but praise children! A lot! And not only for good marks at school! I have never been praised in my childhood, I was always told I am a little devil, who'd rather shut up or will be slapped. And I was slapped a lot with a belt severely. And this is where a lot of my problems start. I will develop sometime the idea why children should hear MORE compliments from parents here and it's proved very well by the church teacher, children psychologist Shishova.

This July I got a curious sms saying the person, so-called S., whom you could read about before in the posts, felt in the centre of the Universe and found that feeling wonderful! Hm... Weird, isn't it? I don't know what that was about but the next time the same person had this feeling was meeting his lifetime best friend.

I didn't expect it would come suddenly standing on the field August 25th. A "wild" silence around, the sky dome covered with millions of sparkling white dots and only the wind continued tousling my hair... Then I found myself in a megapolis: the insane scream, car beeps... Then the silence in the field... Then the village... shallow water... hurricanes... And the field. And I stand on a field and feel the whole World. And then I sing the lulluby and then I feel the child. Again, I don't know how to put these very feelings in words, but I clearly understood that... in the centre of the World a Child stands. The beginning of a human's life, the one who continues it, the one who is in the same row with the God, the creature without sins. Then... a child's crying... more and more.... and then.....silence and a Lulluby.

Will you believe it lasted a second? The next second was a harmony. And forever.

" Oy, tzvetOchek mAlen'kiy, (Oy, the little flower)

Oy, tzvetOchek Alen'kiy.. (Oy, the scarlet flower)

Moy VanUsha mAlen'kiy, (My Vanu'sha little boy)

Da, mAlen'kiy udAlen'kiy... (But a daring little boy)

Oy, da shiOchki Alen'ki, (Oy, the cheeks are scarlet*)

Oy, da shiOchki mAmen'ki, (Oy, the cheeks are like mother's)

Oy, da rUchki glAden'ki, (Oy, the hands are gentle)

Da, glAzan'ki golUben'ki... (And the eyes are blue)

PrihodI, VAnya, domOy, (Vanya, come back home)

JdiOt na pEchke DomovOy, (Domovo'y's** waiting on a Stove***)

NOjki svEsil so pechI, (Hanging down his legs)

Da, vArit - jArit kulichI... (Boiling - frying candy cakes)

Aa...

........................................." .

* The brighter the cheeks of a child - the healthier he/she is - considered in Russia.

** Domovoy - a little God - host in every Russian house. If you leave something sweet for him, he will stay in your house and will take care of it.

*** A traditional white Russian Stove.

PS: Don't judge the translation strictly.. Better learn Russian : ) !

Thought from the past...

2007-08-15T02:45:00.000+04:00

From the July's blackwriting.
"On Wednesday (and the day before Wednesday I thought it was Tuesday...) I found out I live on the same metro station with the Chicago college bluez guitar teacher Chris. We had a nice chat. My American friend Robert suggests Russian to be harsh, while Vlado , a brother-slav from Bulgaria, says Russian is soft comparing with his native language. I asked for Chris's opinion and he gave me a brilliant answer! He just said Russian is beautiful. He is quite experienced in singing in English, he heard German and Italian and now Russian... And any language has a connection with music for him, has a rythm, its melody etc. Every language is good for singing in it, so it's beautiful, by all means, because music is always beautiful. I can only smile... :)
Meaningful.
PS: Robert easily recognized people talking the Russian language in the American cafe after 2 weeks listening intensively to my English-Russian translations for Alina in Prague.
This night I heard the Nigerian woman devilering a speech on TED.com and before I read her biography, I strongly guessed she had an extremely similar accent to Onyesie's (Nigerian student from the Summer Programme). The other common thing is that I know them talking only about Nigeria and nothing more, but Nigeria, its problems and potential. Are they all so patriotic there? Uh? :) ".

Dear Angel,

2007-08-15T01:25:00.000+04:00

Not ready yet.

Callosity

2007-08-15T00:41:00.002+04:00

Woke up, watched TV, payed money for driving courses, high platform, very high platform, only men on courses, over 30, high platform, very high platform, met two classmates. One is still my friend (Krolik), the other is her good friend, but we haven't spoken for 4 (?) years. Rude, "banal" beer girls. But lovely. Just little. They must be deep. They waited till I've sent a letter to S. I love him. But I hate him. His attitude to me hurts me. I wrote him I became better. I need him to react. I want him to love me more than he does. Invited girls for tea to my house. Mostly listened to their talks. Was smiling calmly. 1,5 hour walk with Naya Dog. Poor city dogs. After 30 minutes Naya smelled each flower in the flowerbed. Lied tongue out next to the entrance for the rest of the time. She gazed at the road lazily with sad eyes. Poor city dogs.
Stressed. I am always stressed when I am in love. I am always in love when this person is far away. My hands are like his hands.
Wild cough. Already for a week. What have I done wrong, God?

***

2007-07-31T00:00:00.000+04:00

We are repairing our new flat in the city centre. We invested a lot of money. Government decided to demolish the building. The 5* hotel will be built instead.
As it was said by Alexander Sklar: "Christmas will never come to this country".
It was said in the end of the radio programme "Master Class with Katya Gordon". I was in the studio and came up afterwards to ask him "Why?'. He had no answer: "I just don't believe...". Oh, yes... That phrase was ruining my mind for 1 month till I convinced myself: "Different people - different opinions".
3 years (I guess) have passed. And now I myself feel that Christmas will never come to this country. And I want to cry.
Russia is a pasture where rich graze poor.
And everyone is happy.
.....................................
We were driving back home from the doctor tonight. And I was nothing to say AMAZED: SWEBUS EXPRESS!! In MosCOW!!!

***

2007-07-30T03:32:00.000+04:00

Уж сколько их упало в эту бездну,
Разверзтую вдали!
Настанет день, когда и я исчезну
С поверхности земли.

Застынет все, что пело и боролось,
Сияло и рвалось.
И зелень глаз моих, и нежный голос,
И золото волос.

И будет жизнь с ее насущным хлебом,
С забывчивостью дня.
И будет все - как будто бы под небом
И не было меня!

Изменчивой, как дети, в каждой мине,
И так недолго злой,
Любившей час, когда дрова в камине
Становятся золой.

Виолончель, и кавалькады в чаще,
И колокол в селе...
- Меня, такой живой и настоящей
На ласковой земле!

К вам всем - что мне, ни в чем не знавшей
меры,
Чужие и свои?!-
Я обращаюсь с требованьем веры
И с просьбой о любви.

И день и ночь, и письменно и устно:
За правду да и нет,
За то, что мне так часто - слишком грустно
И только двадцать лет,

За то, что мне прямая неизбежность -
Прощение обид,
За всю мою безудержную нежность
И слишком гордый вид,

За быстроту стремительных событий,
За правду, за игру...
- Послушайте!- Еще меня любите
За то, что я умру.

Marina Tsvetaeva.
8 December 1913

I wanted to die today.

Rainbow in Moscow and confussed Max... :)

2007-07-28T23:25:00.000+04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUUvbQa-DWs

Trading under pants

2007-07-28T21:42:00.000+04:00

College is over...
:(
At a farewell party I found out that many people knew me as "Liza-monster!" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because of the Little Monster Blues Song (read below).
The majority of people sang sappy love stories, starting with "uuuuuu.....Babe...".... So my story was something really different, though about love, but covering more topics like loneliness.
-Let me take your phone number... You are Liza-monster, right?
- wwwWWWHAT?! (ChtooooOOOOO?)
- You sang the song about the little monster, right?
- Right :/

Last phrases at the lessons:
Chris: I found out more about America while not beeing there...
Tiffany: Good energy, good ideas! TRY! Do it! Continue to work!.. Remember you're story-tellers... Make mistakes!

I want to thank everyone for this excellent experience! I want to say thanks to Tiffany, Bred and Chris for their fantastic ideas and the way they were representing them, for believing in every student's success. I think I became 1% wiser in music. I want to say a great thanks to Love, who was brave enough to participate in the programme and who gave me so many beautiful smiles which always cheered me up!
Big thanks to Vera, a nice woman whom I had a perfect 2-hour coffee-break with :) , a talanted painter with the interesting view of life and good knowledge of a fear phychology.
And, of course, thanks for the organizers! Please, make it a bit cheaper next time, so I'd save some money to go to the seaside! (grrr...)

So come on! Baby, don't you wanna go?!

2007-07-28T20:32:00.000+04:00

I felt miserable all day long, but when got home read the mail from Vlado and it's just so stuku, guys! Here are two quotations: "U, stupid blue tits(from the swedish photo o.O)!! u dissapear! and u call home parties "fests":p!!fringe...";

"Jo had exams and exams and exams and i missed him 4 about 2 weeks, but on the day he got back to Varna he called me home, my father told him i was going to get back home in 30 mins and he thought i was at the bus stop than and he found me at a bus stop :p i was so happy!..".

PS: Maybe you all didn't find it funny... But I'm still giggling! It's my blog after all :) he-he...

KVARTFEST "THE NOTE MUG"!

2007-07-27T02:32:00.000+04:00

Hooray, hOOray!!!

The second youth FlatFestival "The note mug" (KvartFest "Notnaya krujka") is over!

Here I want to tell you how it is organized, so this nice idea will spread to new flats in different countries!

Each nice idea, word, thought is a bright note, low or high, short or long... Let's try to combine all the notes in one big mug, make a delicious beverage from them! Let's make our spare time less mainstream! Let's provoke wise talks and creative ambience!

FlatFest is to unite creative and not, active and not, loud and not people together to bring up attractive topics and make life interesting!

Last year's theme was: The Russian archipelago, this year it was: A human as a crystal of traditions.

Everytime it starts with a discussion, no frames, it can concern anything, you can develop the topic however you want.

Afterwards, everyone can represent the topic through any creative action: either singing, or dancing, or telling the poem, or any other variant.

The musical band can be invited to make it more exciting!

Then you can order 6 pizzas :P -> sit on carpet around a candle, continuing your discussion -> drink tea with a cake...

This year I had 12 people in my flat, we hardly found a place. 5 people couldn't have come: it's Moscow, with its problems and rushing life. Yes... One more mission of this event is to gather different people in a megapolis, as it used to be 10 years ago, when people preferred visiting their friends to sitting at home in front of the computer screen, which has appeared in our lives recently...

Next time, and now we decided to organize KvartFest more often, not only my good friends will come as they are really keen on the idea to invite their friends as well.

My room is already a cult-place. Guys, what can I say... You are welcome!!!

PS: Your are also welcome to write your opinion or ideas here and if you organize something similar, let me know, please!!!

PS2: All photos can be found at facebook.com -> search for Elizaveta Senatorova.

Stuku evil people!

2007-07-18T05:09:00.000+04:00

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?ei=UTF-8&vid=690017&cache=1&fr=&.fdbk=mail:v/0
Louie the pug.

Imagine you are noone but loved.

2007-07-18T04:21:00.000+04:00

Love and dedication, or realization of your dreams, becoming who and what you want to be?
Imagine, you are a woman who is in love with a man, who lives in a little town somewhere on the other continent. And his ambition is to run his family business where he lives.
Your dream is to open... an art-gallery, for example, or to become a singer.
Moving to him, you will bear two nice monkeys, but will feel like you are noone and reached nothing in life. Life without satisfaction. Life for another person.
Many people consider living for the one you love a feat, others find it ridiculous.
Personally, one half of me would feel happy beeing a woman, a wife and a mother. But another half would say: You are dead. (So pitty, you don't hear this.)
I am lost.
What would you do? What do you think about love and career? Yes, maybe give-and-take could be found... like... you choose a dot on a map to start up a new life with a new-family business... But everything is not always so easy.
On the whole, I came up with such sad thoughts after brainstorming with A. about what would happen if we marry :)
And imagine I lived in my fluffy pink dreams... because the idea I will maybe have to give something up for love came as a shock for me.

Judging myself

2007-07-18T03:54:00.001+04:00

I felt always cold to people, who are in a team, but not working.
When working on business plan in Sweden, I felt very much like helping and people expected me too, but it could not be implemented... (though, survey, marketing and summary were done by me and I was good at primary discussions, we all know I could do more). I wasn't lazy, but when I was supposed to start some work, someone has always started it 1 second before me and I didn't resist, because that person was definetely better.... and I was scared to ask. I don't know why. Actually, I always got lost ( something like knees turning into jelly) and indifferent to anything while talking to J. (team-member), felt shy to ask something, though behaved normally... But very uncomfortable... Inflexible... Couldn't take a leading position, felt more like hiding and building friendly relationships with team mates.
I lost "the game". (If you read 'The Master and Margarita' of Michail Bulghakov (the Russian philosopher and writer) you'll see he considers fear to be the main sin. I don't feel like explaining his position, better read it.)
More than half a month has passed, but I still suffer from this fact. I started working on my own business plan, eventhough never really wanted before. I guess, to sew up the painful gap in my heart.
It all made me think that maybe I judged people too severely for not participating instead of motivating them. I learned my lesson.

Day of today. Egotistical truth.

2007-07-18T03:13:00.000+04:00

The brightest event of the day which started with waking at 4:45 p.m. was a tutorial with Tiffani at 6 p.m. in MCIM which is 1 hour from my house ) .

I entered the room, told Tiffani my problems, she smiled and worked magic. No, I don't sing better now. She didn't tell me something I don't know. But the way she explained everything made it one of my best vocal lessons ever, though 30 minutes only.

And the thing which made me so happy was her sincere (as she pointed out) compliment about my The little monster blues song! Yes, I didn't manage to do it perfect, but it was a great attempt, and she highly appreciates people t r y i n g. I dream myself standing in front of Salim boasting :P
And she was so suprised to know my age when she asked! And the first time in my life I felt excellent about my age. I have never thought or felt I am one of the youngest in my college, I always feel too responsible and have so much work to do! I can't say I had a 100% happy childhood, and I never felt myself a child... But that moment I felt so good! Never before I asked myself: why beeing so young you produce a band, work here and there, study in 2 Universities, get angry with yourself you are lazy to write a business plan?! I am a still a kid a bit, why don't I free my soul of having to think so much even when it doesn't want, but I make it? (I believe it's soul and heart which think rather than brain).
So Tiffani said something like: relax! when you are 5 years more, than you can say you have problems. Now you are just developing.
And it was so nice she liked my low notes, my strength of voice, that I was learning really fast... I felt like I really have great potential! And I know I do have.
I am a gifted singer. And it is my first sincere compliment from me to me. I never let myself say I am good at something in front of many people, or will be good at something, because it can always be better. So it's my first attempt ) And I want to share with all you a magnificent thought of mine: I am talanted and determined enough to become a great jazz singer. Irina Solovieva (my friend and my boss) always says: tell yourself compliments, because you deserve them, because it will motivate you. Don't be embarrassed to be honest to yourself.
But my ears have always blushed and I said it's not worth it.
... Now I am lost.. I know I am moving to Jonkoping to study.. Will I be able to practise jazz lessons there? What if I miss singing in a year for a long period of time? "If you love something give it away" - is definetely not about this story. I must find a solution, besides summer singing programmes in Chicago.

Bank. Russia.

2007-07-17T03:45:00.000+04:00

The queue. One woman is doing too many operations at once.
Two women next to me right 50 cm behind her are telling her off.
'Sorry, it is not good what you are doing' - me. What happened next told me they didn't hear this.
My 1st time 'telephone paying'.
'Oh, young lady, you have to write here and here, and one more thing. Good!' - those women.
Willing to help. Kindness from the bottom of the heart.
WHY?!
WHY evil and kind. Both sincerely. 1 minute between each.
Me involved. I am the same. Or I will be the same. Or I won't.
People in queue talk to each other as if they are close fellows for ages. They discuss children, life problems, even money.
There was one queue to two windows, separating in the very end.
"WHY the hell one queue to two windows!" - screams one man.
Another screams back : " Do you care?! It's fine!"
-Nope! Soon, the more people will be here, the more the queue will be outside!
- Not many people are here! So do you care?
- Yes, I do. One queue and 20 people in it and you have a feeling there're a lot of people! When two queues and 10 people in each, you have a feeling not many people are in a queue and your Soul is so happy!!
- It doesn't matter!
- No, your Soul is so happy when..... Soul is happy when it's this way!
- Stop it, men! Found time!! - old lady...
Typically Russian...
I would say I hate it, if there wasn't a phrase " And your Soul is so happy! " ... There is something very important about it. And I do not know why..

PS: Right now I called the police. I hate little Russian Idiots on motorcycles driving in yards at 4 a.m.!!! I thought the dispatcher would piss me off, but the woman claimed the policemen will check it now. I had to tell her my surname. So it's good I'm changing it tomorrow =)
PS2: 20 minutes passed after my call. Here comes a peaceful morning.

The Little Monster Blues Song

2007-07-17T02:21:00.000+04:00

The Little Monster Blues Song

( 2 verses )

C7 This is a story about the little monster ( speaking, intriguing )

C He was extrEmely kind guy!

C But everyone was scared of him..

C And noone wanted to become his friend...

F He felt so miserable

F About that faaact...

C So miserable he felt

C About thaaaat...

G And he was cryyying!!! ( yelling! accent on "yyy")

F All days and nights... tshhh...

C And everyona laughted bout his

G Bout his red eeeyes...

C But one day,which was sunny

F He mEt a giiirl...

C A little-little monster girl..

C A lovely monster giiiiiiiiiiirl (exaggerating bas notes)

F And she was crazily smiling

F And dancing days and nights (dolly intonations)

C She was extremely funny

C And liked to be in the spotlights!!! ( 'Legally blond' )

G And soon they two got married ( rude, distinct )

F And happily they liiived.

C Now I told you my story ( partly speaking )

C And feel reliiiiieeved... ( mouse )

Lizvet Cartwheelsun.

The Little Monster Blues Song for 16.07.07. Tiffany Monic's Seminar ( Moscow College of Improvising Music ).

PS: In brackets I put intonations and character I was trying to make. But everything depends on your mood: you can make it a sappy Shreck story, or a bright hilarious kex. The Blues is extremely playful!

Random thoughts. End of 2nd week July. Deep. Pencil, oil. If you love something give it away.

2007-07-16T02:45:00.004+04:00

Random thoughts... End of 2nd week July. Light. Water colours. Painting Album of the 19th century.

2007-07-16T02:41:00.000+04:00

I am in good terms with each of my ex-boyfriends. My best friends in life are my ex-boyfriends. At least, 3 for sure. People who respect me and love. Maybe the relationships weren't built on sex and desire. They were, too. But Kisses... We often point out with Love that there is a special philisophy of kisses. And sometimes you kiss a friend tenderly in lips because you show your kindness, love and respect to him. People take "french" kisses as kisses between lovers. They are not. Once I kissed S. and it was the first kiss I gave someone myself. I have never been a leader in kisses loving when men take the advantage of me. I thought for a while I fell in love. And I fell in love. But with a friend, not lover. And maybe that was one of my greatest kisses ever: so sincere and sweet.

And one more sad thought for me. Many sucessful marriages are built on friendship in past.

These are random thoughts. But they mean a thing.

Interesting, but I found these (denying all just said) lines in my July's blackwritings while preparing for this post:

"..I also was thinking that I have a lot of friends who are boys/men... And speaking about very best friends, there are more M than F in my life. I tried to analyze what makes it so...and was shocked by the idea... that it's a sexual desire between guys and me. And I think, that's it. Moral principles or a wish to leave the relationship as it's now and develop only 'friendship-side' of it prevents the relationships from sex, but the sex desire expands making people closer to each other, talks more sacramental and as a result the interest of both sides to each other continueously grows up.

I also have a special girlfriend in my life. And while discussing this all with her she... gave me an incredible (for me) idea that there's a sexual girl-to-girl desire as well... And that's true. I know some examples. And finally, curious about the guys in this case.

What's more... I raised this topic talking to Krolik and she confirmed about boyfriends' stuff... I'm gonna make a research once maybe =) ".

I think in my own simple unscientific messy way I arised a very serious question here: How relationships are built? What makes them develop? Is there more between "just friends" or ,on the contrary, friendship feelings are so strong and pure that they are realized in the easiest human actions like kissing. Take in the account, gender plays an important role here too... and you'll see the mess I have in my head. But it's the essential mess. Chaos leads to truth.

Eventually, listen to Billie Holiday's or Helen Merrill's (specially) "Just friends":

Just friends

Lovers no more

Just friends

But not like before

To think of what we've been

And not to kiss again

Seems like pretending

It isn't the ending

Two friends

Drifting apart

Two friends

But one broken heart

We loved we laughed we cried

Then suddenly love died

The story ends

And we're Just friends

We loved we laughed and we cried

Then suddenly love died

The story ends

And we're Just friends...

John Klenner / Samuel M. Lewis

Метро-блюз

2007-07-13T12:46:00.000+04:00

Bluezzzzzzzzzzzy night....

2007-07-13T04:02:00.000+04:00

Wake up, Mama! Don't you sleep too tight!
I have to write here something you expect me to write........ because I said......I would write it...I wooould........ But now! I'm in a bluezzzzyyyyyyy mooood.
So tonight I won't post even a word........Because I'm tired and sick: I've spoken a LOOOT!
But tomorrow, Babe, I'll do whAt you expeect! And finally now I should go to bed.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...............
yeeeeeeee..yeeeeeeeeeeee....
yeeeeeeeeee.........
wubu-dididnday....waywayway...........
eheeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeieieeeeeee.....
uuuuu....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........sa!
PS: We got a task in college to compose bluez and try to improvise with it. I had many attempts to create a melody and lyrics which would satisfy me, but no results. Now spontaneously, I think I did it! Maybe because I listened to Cris's CD with good bluez themes and it conjured some nice ideas in my head :)

=)

2007-07-12T02:46:00.001+04:00

http://marge.uvm.edu/sdempse/mushroom/mushroom.html

Stukiest thing ever! Enjoy... slayers...

PS: Now you can replace stuku word by mushroom! It's the same :) Recently the new stronger version of stuku has been updated in the Dictionary of stuku-words. So if you want to say "you're mega-stuku" use sruku now.

Delirious Delirium.

GIGANTic day!

2007-07-12T01:39:00.000+04:00

UH!!!

In Mexico (Viva Mexico!) a gigantic mushroom was found. 20 kg, 175 cm!

8-metre Squid was found in Tasmania. It is suggested that it could have been much longer, but it had been damaged by the unknown sea animal. It weights 250 kg! However, it isn't the most huge! This February a 10- metre squid Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni (450 kg) was caught in New Zealand.

Scientists suggest, that squids - giants live 200-700 m deep. Their eyes @_@ are as big as volleyball balls :) and considered to be the biggest among animals. I

Information from Первый канал and Газета.ru. Pictures from Rambler news.

2007-07-09T02:08:00.000+04:00

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Mr Kex Choklad

2007-07-07T02:26:00.000+04:00

I finally realized that the thing I miss most after Sweden ................is .......................

PS: Where are you, Adrian? My chocolade-deliverer =) Chocolade-guy.

SOCHI SOCHI

2007-07-05T03:51:00.000+04:00

IS THE WINTER OLYMPIAD 2014 CITY, Russian CITY
=)

PS: YRAAAAAAAAAAAA!

!!!

about music....or cultures

2007-06-24T01:35:00.000+04:00

Salim says he doesn't listen to music with lyrics (songs, actually)because most are so - called stuku. (Whichever language).
And it made me think that in Russia we watch a lot of stuku pop song clips on TV, listen to stuku music radio stations... But we also have a bard-guitar (hiking, kvart-festing....whatever...)music tradition, classical music and even jazz tradition, which are as strong as the stuku pop sub-culture we use for banal existing, not to fill our hearts with phylosophy. Can it all tell us anything about the Russian people? About our nation? Are we as deep as superficial? It's interesting, we love both stuku and wise simultaneously...
It would be strange to imagine classical music playing at the Russian railway station hall... However, that is what I saw yesterday in Sweden (Gøteborg). Salim considered it as the cultural level and taste of the Swedish nation. Though, it didn't make me feel the level of Russians is lower than Sweds... On the contrary, in some things it's higher... No descrimination. Just too deep to understand and explain.
I am in Oslo now. Much more to be called *My place* than Copenhagen. A bit of Moscow, London and Turkey...and Prague... Nice!
Just Nice!
Fringe.
Fringe mood.

We

2007-06-22T04:03:00.000+04:00

The World for us is a big mirrow, and that's why we take it as part of ourselves. Because,looking in the mirrow, we see our faces 1st. No wonder why people worldwide and 1st of all English start the sentence with 'I'. I thought, I did, I..I...
Should we consider that egotistical as many people think? Is it bad we are all self-concerned, single - minded? I don't think so. Opinions, ideas and thoughts about ourselves must dominate to make the world go on, make our life diverse...
Remember what phylosophy is about...
Maybe we should just learn to listen the other 'I-s'.
The other thing Iam thinking today is that here in Sweden I managed to open myself quite fully, if I can say so. No routine sick feeling of being alert to what bad is said, no agressive attitude... How to save it and bring into Moscow's reality?
I know (I) I never (I) write any funny life occasions here. Maybe I am (I) too much analyzing the background of any hilarious 'happenings' what finally turns them into a boring thought-provoking (though, both are difficult to combine) porridge.
Haven't eaten for ages.
LIZArd

Leaving for Copenhagen!

2007-06-15T18:35:00.000+04:00

Interesting, if people there are as slow as here. Ilya said traffic is absolutely crazy there, however.
I am also thinking today that we combine all our good (who bad)memories and experiences of different types of men in the fantasy of our ideal match. Is that why we get so disappointed when we meet the right person but still miss something in his personality? This has been up in my mind since yesterday, so no wonder if someday I write more.
Your Fringe.

look up

2007-06-13T22:02:00.000+04:00

http://irangraffiti.blogspot.com/
PS: Lublu!Ya prosila tebya otkomentirovat predposlednuu zapis'! ne ety )

CONTINUING THE DISCUSSION

2007-06-13T21:50:00.000+04:00

about the difference between Latin (Southern) and European guys, can quote my Mom's words that those who seem to be hotter, will be with 3 women, still sincerely loving each of them. Maybe the one who is not so *Macho* (in Russian, not Mexican meaning), will love the one and only. It's just a superficial idea. But something makes me addicted to it, though it's all a big lie.
What do you think about the moral principles? Thought-provoking stuff... you know.. I'll leave it for some time in my mind.

I am thinking

2007-06-11T21:10:00.000+04:00

Finally.
Listened to Gonsalez.... you know... a touching thing.
Lublu and me call it a music of a moving thought or a moving soul. When you are looking through a window in a moving bus or car...
I am not going to say much, but still... yesterday touched an electric wire for cows!!! BUT THERE WERE NO SIGNS!
Love you.

National Day

2007-06-06T18:45:00.000+04:00

In Sweden. The worst concert ever and really too boring. All white-haired grannies and g.dads. The mayor still with her enormous bag standing on a high platform on grass...
Music: Girls Choir isn't heard because of instruments playing too loud. Or maybe just girls are that bad. Typical 50-50 choir actually.
Uh...
Still one thing the orchestra played was perfect.
I am in a project with Raul ) He is nice<1 We'll manage! We have to write a report based on the work of Nu-Gruppen (market-research company). We surfed the net, but its site is in Swedish only. *What a people!*
Today I am a hero! I woke up myself! YÖ!
Even had breakfast =)
One funny thing was when at the lecture I hit a back of a chair (it's high, I'd say, and combined with a behind table) with my head loudly. That's so typical of me!
I think I fully opened myself. In Moscow the ambiance is so aggressive and gossips make it poisoned. I swear never in my life was such a friendly atmosphere. And believe, not Mexicans fault only!
Today's the farewell party =) of semester students. We are going as well!
That will be so good!
Have fun, Darlings!

So strange

2007-06-05T22:45:00.000+04:00

Feeling helpless.
Without cooking and other skills.
THEY HAVE TO READ BEFORE LECTURES LIKE...many ) pages.
Mexicans are still hot.
When I don't use Salim's lap-top - will tell you more.

EIN RUSSIAN KAPUT IN SWEDEN LÄND

2007-06-04T13:23:00.000+04:00

IT'S KAPUT. They didn't predict it would be that HARD.
But guys are nice. I said guys are nice.
Yes, so that was me who said that guys are nice.
Mix in my head is killing all the thoughts.
Mama mia!

Fruit in metro

2007-06-02T05:58:00.000+04:00

http://www.rambler.ru/news/events/260004785/526226332.html
That's partly what Charles Landry calls a creative city =)
Want to see!

My brothers crazy idea

2007-06-01T00:18:00.000+04:00

I tried to create my site like 4-5 years ago... There was some really weird information about the life of blonds.. This year my brother Kirill has found it by chance, suprisingly entered the workshop without any password! This is a really funny result of his creativity: http://lizka-piska.narod.ru
Vote!

The Mystery of Picasso

2007-01-11T19:24:00.000+03:00


Time lapse of Pablo Picasso painting in oils, allowing us to see his creative process at work.

Man of my dreams

2006-07-09T00:08:00.000+04:00

There was a man of my dreams today in a shop. Long rare lashes and kind wise eyes, he glanced or gazed at me, I can't recollect... But we spoke, I remember. And nothing more than an official talk... And nothing more beautiful than this feeling today...
Such little, even tiny moments, events give us possitive emotions for millions of seconds, give us new breaths, rebirth... Let's never forget these green, yellow, pink, fluffy or sticky spots in our lives. Let them make us better as we must always look forward to evacuating in soul, mind and heart.

Brainstorm?

Interesting stuff

"Status" on facebook

Non-chalant

Nice one. Grow a brain.

Leisure management... LM..... is...

Voices`

Песня

A peachy-store song by Chris Hay

Voices`

٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶

Ерунда.

оЖИВУ.

Soundflavor Video Jukebox

L....................

1st day.

Люблю...давай...

Kiasma - art wonder

I know..

Eh, Todorov.

The mood is moody.

.AN APPLE.

~***~

Voices`

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Midsommar... Pitch sad.

Angry.

Senatorova is...

Paskha. Пасха. Easter.

A fantastic teacher. A good singer. Again in Moscow.

The last poem of winter.

1st March!

Well....

Post № 101.

Kosovars... Post № 100.

One of the new habbits.

14 Feb. St. Valentine's Day.

The way to know Russia. Part1: Conventional.

KVARTFEST "THE NOTE MUG"!

If you are neither Love nor Lizvet do not click, please!

тук-тук-тук-тук-тук-тук

A.R.E.A.

Maximilien Desanti. Death, tradition and industry.

HE

13.11.07.

Sunflower seeds. Grocery deficiency.

Stay with me...

Adrian and Aleksandr

Who's the winner? (just about my day)

What am I?

Lulluby of birdland...Or Good Bye, Strawberry fairy-tale.

Tell me why little angels don't cry..

Winter has come

The autumn leaf

+

13.10.07

One of the best shots I've ever seen.

3.10.07.

The sweetest wind..

13.09.07

Every person has an Angel.

Photography: pros and cons.

So close, no matter how far.

Thought from the past...

Dear Angel,

Callosity

***

***

Rainbow in Moscow and confussed Max... :)

Trading under pants

So come on! Baby, don't you wanna go?!

KVARTFEST "THE NOTE MUG"!

Stuku evil people!

Imagine you are noone but loved.

Judging myself

Day of today. Egotistical truth.

Bank. Russia.

The Little Monster Blues Song

Random thoughts. End of 2nd week July. Deep. Pencil, oil. If you love something give it away.

Random thoughts... End of 2nd week July. Light. Water colours. Painting Album of the 19th century.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~