Woke up, watched TV, payed money for driving courses, high platform, very high platform, only men on courses, over 30, high platform, very high platform, met two classmates. One is still my friend (Krolik), the other is her good friend, but we haven't spoken for 4 (?) years. Rude, "banal" beer girls. But lovely. Just little. They must be deep. They waited till I've sent a letter to S. I love him. But I hate him. His attitude to me hurts me. I wrote him I became better. I need him to react. I want him to love me more than he does. Invited girls for tea to my house. Mostly listened to their talks. Was smiling calmly. 1,5 hour walk with Naya Dog. Poor city dogs. After 30 minutes Naya smelled each flower in the flowerbed. Lied tongue out next to the entrance for the rest of the time. She gazed at the road lazily with sad eyes. Poor city dogs.
Stressed. I am always stressed when I am in love. I am always in love when this person is far away. My hands are like his hands.
Wild cough. Already for a week. What have I done wrong, God?
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Callosity
Автор Elizaveta Senatorova на 12:41 AM
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Hello Peaches,
I have some thoughts about your "Love" issue with "S." You said that you want him to love you more than he does. I know how that feels. I've been in that situation more than once. I'm sorry to say that it won't happen. Some say that people will grow to love you. That is true, but it is not the kind of love that I think you want from him. If he doesn't love you with passion right now, he never will. The kind of love that will grow is the kind of love of families and close friends. I have a friend, Casie, I could love her with passion (like a wife), but she can only love me like a brother. I know that she cares about me and I gave up any hope that she could LOVE me a long time ago. I am very happy that we do have a close friendship and I never want that to change. Keep your heart available for the man that has PASSION for you. I haven't found the girl that has passion for me, so I don't know what that will feel like, but I look forward to finding her. Good luck. God is with you. Love, R
I know S. loves me "incredibly". I just miss him paying me attention. We are close friends, but separated by many km-s. And sometimes it's hard to keep in touch. So I just miss the person's attention to me and in this very case I called it "I want more love". Thank you so much for the comment!
I'd also like to add that the lines "Stressed. I am always stressed when I am in love. I am always in love when this person is far away. My hands are like his hands." are not about S. I am in love with A. And S. is one of my best friends :P
gygygy...
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