***

We are repairing our new flat in the city centre. We invested a lot of money. Government decided to demolish the building. The 5* hotel will be built instead.
As it was said by Alexander Sklar: "Christmas will never come to this country".
It was said in the end of the radio programme "Master Class with Katya Gordon". I was in the studio and came up afterwards to ask him "Why?'. He had no answer: "I just don't believe...". Oh, yes... That phrase was ruining my mind for 1 month till I convinced myself: "Different people - different opinions".
3 years (I guess) have passed. And now I myself feel that Christmas will never come to this country. And I want to cry.
Russia is a pasture where rich graze poor.
And everyone is happy.
.....................................
We were driving back home from the doctor tonight. And I was nothing to say AMAZED: SWEBUS EXPRESS!! In MosCOW!!!

***

Уж сколько их упало в эту бездну,
Разверзтую вдали!
Настанет день, когда и я исчезну
С поверхности земли.

Застынет все, что пело и боролось,
Сияло и рвалось.
И зелень глаз моих, и нежный голос,
И золото волос.

И будет жизнь с ее насущным хлебом,
С забывчивостью дня.
И будет все - как будто бы под небом
И не было меня!

Изменчивой, как дети, в каждой мине,
И так недолго злой,
Любившей час, когда дрова в камине
Становятся золой.

Виолончель, и кавалькады в чаще,
И колокол в селе...
- Меня, такой живой и настоящей
На ласковой земле!

К вам всем - что мне, ни в чем не знавшей
меры,
Чужие и свои?!-
Я обращаюсь с требованьем веры
И с просьбой о любви.

И день и ночь, и письменно и устно:
За правду да и нет,
За то, что мне так часто - слишком грустно
И только двадцать лет,

За то, что мне прямая неизбежность -
Прощение обид,
За всю мою безудержную нежность
И слишком гордый вид,

За быстроту стремительных событий,
За правду, за игру...
- Послушайте!- Еще меня любите
За то, что я умру.

Marina Tsvetaeva.
8 December 1913

I wanted to die today.

Rainbow in Moscow and confussed Max... :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUUvbQa-DWs

Trading under pants

College is over...
:(
At a farewell party I found out that many people knew me as "Liza-monster!" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because of the Little Monster Blues Song (read below).
The majority of people sang sappy love stories, starting with "uuuuuu.....Babe...".... So my story was something really different, though about love, but covering more topics like loneliness.
-Let me take your phone number... You are Liza-monster, right?
- wwwWWWHAT?! (ChtooooOOOOO?)
- You sang the song about the little monster, right?
- Right :/

Last phrases at the lessons:
Chris: I found out more about America while not beeing there...
Tiffany: Good energy, good ideas! TRY! Do it! Continue to work!.. Remember you're story-tellers... Make mistakes!

I want to thank everyone for this excellent experience! I want to say thanks to Tiffany, Bred and Chris for their fantastic ideas and the way they were representing them, for believing in every student's success. I think I became 1% wiser in music. I want to say a great thanks to Love, who was brave enough to participate in the programme and who gave me so many beautiful smiles which always cheered me up!
Big thanks to Vera, a nice woman whom I had a perfect 2-hour coffee-break with :) , a talanted painter with the interesting view of life and good knowledge of a fear phychology.
And, of course, thanks for the organizers! Please, make it a bit cheaper next time, so I'd save some money to go to the seaside! (grrr...)

So come on! Baby, don't you wanna go?!

I felt miserable all day long, but when got home read the mail from Vlado and it's just so stuku, guys! Here are two quotations: "U, stupid blue tits(from the swedish photo o.O)!! u dissapear! and u call home parties "fests":p!!fringe...";

"Jo had exams and exams and exams and i missed him 4 about 2 weeks, but on the day he got back to Varna he called me home, my father told him i was going to get back home in 30 mins and he thought i was at the bus stop than and he found me at a bus stop :p i was so happy!..".

PS: Maybe you all didn't find it funny... But I'm still giggling! It's my blog after all :) he-he...

KVARTFEST "THE NOTE MUG"!

Hooray, hOOray!!!

The second youth FlatFestival "The note mug" (KvartFest "Notnaya krujka") is over!

Here I want to tell you how it is organized, so this nice idea will spread to new flats in different countries!

Each nice idea, word, thought is a bright note, low or high, short or long... Let's try to combine all the notes in one big mug, make a delicious beverage from them! Let's make our spare time less mainstream! Let's provoke wise talks and creative ambience!

FlatFest is to unite creative and not, active and not, loud and not people together to bring up attractive topics and make life interesting!

Last year's theme was: The Russian archipelago, this year it was: A human as a crystal of traditions.

Everytime it starts with a discussion, no frames, it can concern anything, you can develop the topic however you want.

Afterwards, everyone can represent the topic through any creative action: either singing, or dancing, or telling the poem, or any other variant.

The musical band can be invited to make it more exciting!

Then you can order 6 pizzas :P -> sit on carpet around a candle, continuing your discussion -> drink tea with a cake...

This year I had 12 people in my flat, we hardly found a place. 5 people couldn't have come: it's Moscow, with its problems and rushing life. Yes... One more mission of this event is to gather different people in a megapolis, as it used to be 10 years ago, when people preferred visiting their friends to sitting at home in front of the computer screen, which has appeared in our lives recently...

Next time, and now we decided to organize KvartFest more often, not only my good friends will come as they are really keen on the idea to invite their friends as well.

My room is already a cult-place. Guys, what can I say... You are welcome!!!

PS: Your are also welcome to write your opinion or ideas here and if you organize something similar, let me know, please!!!

PS2: All photos can be found at facebook.com -> search for Elizaveta Senatorova.

Stuku evil people!

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?ei=UTF-8&vid=690017&cache=1&fr=&.fdbk=mail:v/0
Louie the pug.

Imagine you are noone but loved.

Love and dedication, or realization of your dreams, becoming who and what you want to be?
Imagine, you are a woman who is in love with a man, who lives in a little town somewhere on the other continent. And his ambition is to run his family business where he lives.
Your dream is to open... an art-gallery, for example, or to become a singer.
Moving to him, you will bear two nice monkeys, but will feel like you are noone and reached nothing in life. Life without satisfaction. Life for another person.
Many people consider living for the one you love a feat, others find it ridiculous.
Personally, one half of me would feel happy beeing a woman, a wife and a mother. But another half would say: You are dead. (So pitty, you don't hear this.)
I am lost.
What would you do? What do you think about love and career? Yes, maybe give-and-take could be found... like... you choose a dot on a map to start up a new life with a new-family business... But everything is not always so easy.
On the whole, I came up with such sad thoughts after brainstorming with A. about what would happen if we marry :)
And imagine I lived in my fluffy pink dreams... because the idea I will maybe have to give something up for love came as a shock for me.

Judging myself

I felt always cold to people, who are in a team, but not working.
When working on business plan in Sweden, I felt very much like helping and people expected me too, but it could not be implemented... (though, survey, marketing and summary were done by me and I was good at primary discussions, we all know I could do more). I wasn't lazy, but when I was supposed to start some work, someone has always started it 1 second before me and I didn't resist, because that person was definetely better.... and I was scared to ask. I don't know why. Actually, I always got lost ( something like knees turning into jelly) and indifferent to anything while talking to J. (team-member), felt shy to ask something, though behaved normally... But very uncomfortable... Inflexible... Couldn't take a leading position, felt more like hiding and building friendly relationships with team mates.
I lost "the game". (If you read 'The Master and Margarita' of Michail Bulghakov (the Russian philosopher and writer) you'll see he considers fear to be the main sin. I don't feel like explaining his position, better read it.)
More than half a month has passed, but I still suffer from this fact. I started working on my own business plan, eventhough never really wanted before. I guess, to sew up the painful gap in my heart.
It all made me think that maybe I judged people too severely for not participating instead of motivating them. I learned my lesson.

Day of today. Egotistical truth.

The brightest event of the day which started with waking at 4:45 p.m. was a tutorial with Tiffani at 6 p.m. in MCIM which is 1 hour from my house ) .

I entered the room, told Tiffani my problems, she smiled and worked magic. No, I don't sing better now. She didn't tell me something I don't know. But the way she explained everything made it one of my best vocal lessons ever, though 30 minutes only.

And the thing which made me so happy was her sincere (as she pointed out) compliment about my The little monster blues song! Yes, I didn't manage to do it perfect, but it was a great attempt, and she highly appreciates people t r y i n g. I dream myself standing in front of Salim boasting :P
And she was so suprised to know my age when she asked! And the first time in my life I felt excellent about my age. I have never thought or felt I am one of the youngest in my college, I always feel too responsible and have so much work to do! I can't say I had a 100% happy childhood, and I never felt myself a child... But that moment I felt so good! Never before I asked myself: why beeing so young you produce a band, work here and there, study in 2 Universities, get angry with yourself you are lazy to write a business plan?! I am a still a kid a bit, why don't I free my soul of having to think so much even when it doesn't want, but I make it? (I believe it's soul and heart which think rather than brain).
So Tiffani said something like: relax! when you are 5 years more, than you can say you have problems. Now you are just developing.
And it was so nice she liked my low notes, my strength of voice, that I was learning really fast... I felt like I really have great potential! And I know I do have.
I am a gifted singer. And it is my first sincere compliment from me to me. I never let myself say I am good at something in front of many people, or will be good at something, because it can always be better. So it's my first attempt ) And I want to share with all you a magnificent thought of mine: I am talanted and determined enough to become a great jazz singer. Irina Solovieva (my friend and my boss) always says: tell yourself compliments, because you deserve them, because it will motivate you. Don't be embarrassed to be honest to yourself.
But my ears have always blushed and I said it's not worth it.
... Now I am lost.. I know I am moving to Jonkoping to study.. Will I be able to practise jazz lessons there? What if I miss singing in a year for a long period of time? "If you love something give it away" - is definetely not about this story. I must find a solution, besides summer singing programmes in Chicago.

Bank. Russia.

The queue. One woman is doing too many operations at once.
Two women next to me right 50 cm behind her are telling her off.
'Sorry, it is not good what you are doing' - me. What happened next told me they didn't hear this.
My 1st time 'telephone paying'.
'Oh, young lady, you have to write here and here, and one more thing. Good!' - those women.
Willing to help. Kindness from the bottom of the heart.
WHY?!
WHY evil and kind. Both sincerely. 1 minute between each.
Me involved. I am the same. Or I will be the same. Or I won't.
People in queue talk to each other as if they are close fellows for ages. They discuss children, life problems, even money.
There was one queue to two windows, separating in the very end.
"WHY the hell one queue to two windows!" - screams one man.
Another screams back : " Do you care?! It's fine!"
-Nope! Soon, the more people will be here, the more the queue will be outside!
- Not many people are here! So do you care?
- Yes, I do. One queue and 20 people in it and you have a feeling there're a lot of people! When two queues and 10 people in each, you have a feeling not many people are in a queue and your Soul is so happy!!
- It doesn't matter!
- No, your Soul is so happy when..... Soul is happy when it's this way!
- Stop it, men! Found time!! - old lady...
Typically Russian...
I would say I hate it, if there wasn't a phrase " And your Soul is so happy! " ... There is something very important about it. And I do not know why..

PS: Right now I called the police. I hate little Russian Idiots on motorcycles driving in yards at 4 a.m.!!! I thought the dispatcher would piss me off, but the woman claimed the policemen will check it now. I had to tell her my surname. So it's good I'm changing it tomorrow =)
PS2: 20 minutes passed after my call. Here comes a peaceful morning.

The Little Monster Blues Song

The Little Monster Blues Song

( 2 verses )

A1

C7 This is a story about the little monster ( speaking, intriguing )

C He was extrEmely kind guy!

C But everyone was scared of him..

C And noone wanted to become his friend...

F He felt so miserable

F About that faaact...

C So miserable he felt

C About thaaaat...

G And he was cryyying!!! ( yelling! accent on "yyy")

F All days and nights... tshhh...

C And everyona laughted bout his

G Bout his red eeeyes...

A2

C But one day,which was sunny

F He mEt a giiirl...

C A little-little monster girl..

C A lovely monster giiiiiiiiiiirl (exaggerating bas notes)

F And she was crazily smiling

F And dancing days and nights (dolly intonations)

C She was extremely funny

C And liked to be in the spotlights!!! ( 'Legally blond' )

G And soon they two got married ( rude, distinct )

F And happily they liiived.

C Now I told you my story ( partly speaking )

C And feel reliiiiieeved... ( mouse )

Lizvet Cartwheelsun.

The Little Monster Blues Song for 16.07.07. Tiffany Monic's Seminar ( Moscow College of Improvising Music ).

PS: In brackets I put intonations and character I was trying to make. But everything depends on your mood: you can make it a sappy Shreck story, or a bright hilarious kex. The Blues is extremely playful!

Random thoughts. End of 2nd week July. Deep. Pencil, oil. If you love something give it away.

Random thoughts... End of 2nd week July. Light. Water colours. Painting Album of the 19th century.

I am in good terms with each of my ex-boyfriends. My best friends in life are my ex-boyfriends. At least, 3 for sure. People who respect me and love. Maybe the relationships weren't built on sex and desire. They were, too. But Kisses... We often point out with Love that there is a special philisophy of kisses. And sometimes you kiss a friend tenderly in lips because you show your kindness, love and respect to him. People take "french" kisses as kisses between lovers. They are not. Once I kissed S. and it was the first kiss I gave someone myself. I have never been a leader in kisses loving when men take the advantage of me. I thought for a while I fell in love. And I fell in love. But with a friend, not lover. And maybe that was one of my greatest kisses ever: so sincere and sweet.

And one more sad thought for me. Many sucessful marriages are built on friendship in past.

These are random thoughts. But they mean a thing.

Interesting, but I found these (denying all just said) lines in my July's blackwritings while preparing for this post:

"..I also was thinking that I have a lot of friends who are boys/men... And speaking about very best friends, there are more M than F in my life. I tried to analyze what makes it so...and was shocked by the idea... that it's a sexual desire between guys and me. And I think, that's it. Moral principles or a wish to leave the relationship as it's now and develop only 'friendship-side' of it prevents the relationships from sex, but the sex desire expands making people closer to each other, talks more sacramental and as a result the interest of both sides to each other continueously grows up.

I also have a special girlfriend in my life. And while discussing this all with her she... gave me an incredible (for me) idea that there's a sexual girl-to-girl desire as well... And that's true. I know some examples. And finally, curious about the guys in this case.

What's more... I raised this topic talking to Krolik and she confirmed about boyfriends' stuff... I'm gonna make a research once maybe =) ".

I think in my own simple unscientific messy way I arised a very serious question here: How relationships are built? What makes them develop? Is there more between "just friends" or ,on the contrary, friendship feelings are so strong and pure that they are realized in the easiest human actions like kissing. Take in the account, gender plays an important role here too... and you'll see the mess I have in my head. But it's the essential mess. Chaos leads to truth.

Eventually, listen to Billie Holiday's or Helen Merrill's (specially) "Just friends":

Just friends

Lovers no more

Just friends

But not like before

To think of what we've been

And not to kiss again

Seems like pretending

It isn't the ending

Two friends

Drifting apart

Two friends

But one broken heart

We loved we laughed we cried

Then suddenly love died

The story ends

And we're Just friends

We loved we laughed and we cried

Then suddenly love died

The story ends

And we're Just friends...

John Klenner / Samuel M. Lewis

Метро-блюз

 

 

 

Bluezzzzzzzzzzzy night....

Wake up, Mama! Don't you sleep too tight!
I have to write here something you expect me to write........ because I said......I would write it...I wooould........ But now! I'm in a bluezzzzyyyyyyy mooood.
So tonight I won't post even a word........Because I'm tired and sick: I've spoken a LOOOT!
But tomorrow, Babe, I'll do whAt you expeect! And finally now I should go to bed.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...............
yeeeeeeee..yeeeeeeeeeeee....
yeeeeeeeeee.........
wubu-dididnday....waywayway...........
eheeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeieieeeeeee.....
uuuuu....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........sa!
PS: We got a task in college to compose bluez and try to improvise with it. I had many attempts to create a melody and lyrics which would satisfy me, but no results. Now spontaneously, I think I did it! Maybe because I listened to Cris's CD with good bluez themes and it conjured some nice ideas in my head :)

=)

http://marge.uvm.edu/sdempse/mushroom/mushroom.html

Stukiest thing ever! Enjoy... slayers...

PS: Now you can replace stuku word by mushroom! It's the same :) Recently the new stronger version of stuku has been updated in the Dictionary of stuku-words. So if you want to say "you're mega-stuku" use sruku now.

Delirious Delirium.

GIGANTic day!

UH!!!

In Mexico (Viva Mexico!) a gigantic mushroom was found. 20 kg, 175 cm!

8-metre Squid was found in Tasmania. It is suggested that it could have been much longer, but it had been damaged by the unknown sea animal. It weights 250 kg! However, it isn't the most huge! This February a 10- metre squid Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni (450 kg) was caught in New Zealand.

Scientists suggest, that squids - giants live 200-700 m deep. Their eyes @_@ are as big as volleyball balls :) and considered to be the biggest among animals. I

Information from Первый канал and Газета.ru. Pictures from Rambler news.

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Mr Kex Choklad

I finally realized that the thing I miss most after Sweden ................is .......................

PS: Where are you, Adrian? My chocolade-deliverer =) Chocolade-guy.

SOCHI SOCHI

IS THE WINTER OLYMPIAD 2014 CITY, Russian CITY
=)

PS: YRAAAAAAAAAAAA!

!!!