Day of today. Egotistical truth.

The brightest event of the day which started with waking at 4:45 p.m. was a tutorial with Tiffani at 6 p.m. in MCIM which is 1 hour from my house ) .

I entered the room, told Tiffani my problems, she smiled and worked magic. No, I don't sing better now. She didn't tell me something I don't know. But the way she explained everything made it one of my best vocal lessons ever, though 30 minutes only.

And the thing which made me so happy was her sincere (as she pointed out) compliment about my The little monster blues song! Yes, I didn't manage to do it perfect, but it was a great attempt, and she highly appreciates people t r y i n g. I dream myself standing in front of Salim boasting :P
And she was so suprised to know my age when she asked! And the first time in my life I felt excellent about my age. I have never thought or felt I am one of the youngest in my college, I always feel too responsible and have so much work to do! I can't say I had a 100% happy childhood, and I never felt myself a child... But that moment I felt so good! Never before I asked myself: why beeing so young you produce a band, work here and there, study in 2 Universities, get angry with yourself you are lazy to write a business plan?! I am a still a kid a bit, why don't I free my soul of having to think so much even when it doesn't want, but I make it? (I believe it's soul and heart which think rather than brain).
So Tiffani said something like: relax! when you are 5 years more, than you can say you have problems. Now you are just developing.
And it was so nice she liked my low notes, my strength of voice, that I was learning really fast... I felt like I really have great potential! And I know I do have.
I am a gifted singer. And it is my first sincere compliment from me to me. I never let myself say I am good at something in front of many people, or will be good at something, because it can always be better. So it's my first attempt ) And I want to share with all you a magnificent thought of mine: I am talanted and determined enough to become a great jazz singer. Irina Solovieva (my friend and my boss) always says: tell yourself compliments, because you deserve them, because it will motivate you. Don't be embarrassed to be honest to yourself.
But my ears have always blushed and I said it's not worth it.
... Now I am lost.. I know I am moving to Jonkoping to study.. Will I be able to practise jazz lessons there? What if I miss singing in a year for a long period of time? "If you love something give it away" - is definetely not about this story. I must find a solution, besides summer singing programmes in Chicago.